Working Title

Titanic: One of Many Writerly Fascinations and January 1912

2012-01-17T17:57:00.000-08:00

When I was in the fifth grade, the movie Titanic was released into the world. At first, I didn't have any particular interest to see it, although I thought it sounded interesting. If it hadn't been for my cousin, I likely wouldn't have seen it for years. The Thanksgiving after the movie came out on home video (that sounds so long ago, a time before DVD and BluRays), my cousin and her family brought it to the holiday at my aunt and uncle's house. It was the first PG-13 movie I ever saw (which was a big deal for a 10-year-old). My cousin, me, and the adults all stayed up late watching it. I fell in love.

That was my favorite movie for a few years. I watched it at least once a week. I loved the story, I loved the characters. And, because of that movie, I grew an immediate fasciantion with all things related to the Titanic. I read as many books on the Titanic as I could possibly get my hands on. I knew nearly any obscure fact about that ship and about what had happened the night it sunk. I was a wealth of Titanic-related knowledge.

After a few years of this, I got away from it. I got fascianted in other things. But then the summer before I went to college, the Titanic Exhibit came to Columbus. That old spark reignited, and I insisted that I go. I went with my mom and sister and the second I stepped into that exhibit...it all came flooding back. All the obscure information I knew, all the facts I'd learned, everything.

The fascination has never died. I would love, one day, to write a novel about the Titanic...but it's not my time yet. One day, perhaps.

This year marks the 100th anniversary of the sinking of Titanic. My little Titanic-fact-consuming brain is going to be working in overdrive, just because of this. So I'm going to try to share some of that 100th anniversary thoughts with you.

100 YEARS AGO...
January 1912

The lifeboats are installed in the davits on the Titanic...sixteen wooden lifeboats and two Englehardt Collapsible lifeboats. Originally, 32 lifeboats were ordered, but Bruce Ismay (the Titanic's owner) requested only 16 be installed. This was all the law required at the time (a law that would change after the tragedy). The ship's original designer, Alexander Carlisle, had also originally proposed that 64 boats be on the ship, which would be enough for every person on board, but this proposal was never seriously considered.

Also in January 1912, the Titanic was given its call letters for the Marconi Wireless System: "MGY". These letters would identify the Titanic to other ships listening in on transmissions.

(1912 Facts About Titanic: Revised Edition by Lee W. Merideth, pg 36, 37)

Change Write Now: Week 2

2012-01-09T20:10:00.000-08:00

Here we are. Week 2 of Change Write Now. I survived week 1. Huzzah!

How are things going for Team For Our SAKES? Things are going well! We've got awesome goals for this week and I'm so glad that I get to talk to these girls every day. Some have added on additional, unofficial goals for the challenge...like writing ones...and now I've taken to bothering said team member on Twitter to make sure she's getting her writing done. I'm truly LOVING this team. Do we rock? I'm fairly certain we do!

How are things going for me? I've made a goal to work on exercising more this week. I did pretty well last week, but I need to do even better. Also need to blog more. Thus, this. I know, you feel very loved.

That's all for now, folks!

Revisiting My (Novel) Baby

2012-01-04T20:12:00.001-08:00

Over the last couple of weeks, I somehow got the bright idea to send a couple of chapters from my re-re-revised first novel to a couple of email penpals I have. The novel centers around a radical religious cult (and if you look back waaaaay to the beginning of this blog, you'll see me talking about it A LOT), it was the first novel I ever completed to satisfaction, it was the first novel I ever queried, and it was a novel I worked on all throughout college.

This novel is my baby. And while I've decided that other projects I'm working on are much more marketable than this one (not to mention just...better...as my writing style has changed since I finished my pre-querying revisions on this one), I still would love to see this novel in the world someday. Down the road. Maybe.

Anyway, for some reason, I decided to share the first few chapters with my two penpals. We share writings with each other from time to time, as two of us are writers, and it's just fun. Since I stopped querying this particular novel, I started revising it again, trying to make it better and make more sense and make it sound more like my current style. I only have about four chapters (out of twenty-three) re-revised currently.

In sharing the first few chapters with my penpals, now they want to read more. What does this mean? This means I need to actually open my notes for this novel back up (I had to fish them out from under my bed last night after my one penpal DEMANDED more. Yes, in all caps and everything), and get back to my very slow re-revisions. If nothing else, at least then this novel won't just be sitting in the back of my mind, nagging me to pay attention to it like it has for a while now.

So here's to revisiting old projects, just because.

Change Write Now

2012-01-02T19:46:00.000-08:00

I'm embarking on a new challenge this month. It's called Change Write Now and it's a habit-changing challenge taking place in the writing community. The basic idea is everyone has been split into teams (Go Team "For Our SAKES"!) and is competing to earn points each day...for eating healthy, exercising, creating one good habit, and breaking one bad habit.

My eating goals revolve around losing some weight I put on over the course of last year (which also goes hand-in-hand with a different weight losing competition I have going with my dad currently). Luckily, many of my teammates have similar weight loss goals, which is going to be great motivation for me!

But the good habit I'm trying to pick up is in posting on this blog more often. I'm aiming for three times a week, at least to start. Hopefully that will work out!

Anyway, this was just a quick post to introduce all of this fun and let you know what's going to be happening for the next couple of months!

T-minus 2 Days to NaNoWriMo 2011

2011-10-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year. NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month. This is really my writerly Christmas. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (with a side of insane).

This will be my eighth year. EIGHT YEARS! I can't even believe it. My first year was the November of my senior year of high school. I can't even wrap my head around that fact. I didn't win until 2009, though. Then again last year. I'm hoping this will be the third year in a row I cross the 50k finish line.

In preparation for NaNo, I've been doing a few things...

1. I've picked out a general plot, the names of my two main characters, and a title. I was starting to panic for a little while at the beginning of October, because I couldn't think of anything. AND THEN IT HIT ME! And there was much rejoicing.

2. I've created a NaNoWriMo 2011 playlist.

3. I'm going to my region's kick-off party on Sunday!

4. I've warned the friends that didn't already know that I do this that I'm going to do this. They needed warning. Querying and doing NaNoWriMo at the same time. My stress level is going to be nuts.

5. I've set a goal to finish my current first draft before November 1. I set this goal today. That gives me three days. HA! We'll see how that goes.

So, all in all, I'm psyched. I'll try to keep this blog updated throughout my NaNoWriMo journey.

Love of the Week: Gum

2011-10-10T20:51:00.000-07:00

A certain friend of mine has taken it upon herself to relentlessly quote my previously "most recent" blog post at me until I post a new one. So here's a new one. And now she can stop.

Yes, I'm aware that I keep saying that I'm going to blog more regularly. That darn thing called life keeps getting in the way. As does a multitude of other stuff, including but not limited to my TBR pile, MiMC, e-mail insanity, HPA, alumni bands, car drama, schizophrenic internet, writing a synopsis, getting ready to start querying this novel, and general exhaustion.

Huzzah.

So here's a new Love of the Week post. It's lame. And for that, I apologize.

I love me some sugarfree gum, particularly as of late. In particular, I've grown kind of addicted to Extra Dessert Delights.

Here's the thing: A couple of years ago, I lost a ton of weight. During that time, I chewed a lot of sugarfree gum. I'm on a diet again, to lose some of the weight I gained over the summer, and it's become a lifeline. It keeps me from the vending machine and snacks at work. I've gotten some flack from co-workers who have seen my "gum drawer" (I tend to stock up), but the thing is...it works for me. And I need a variety of gum in order to keep my sweet tooth under control, otherwise I start craving things like chocolate. It also comes in handy once NaNoWriMo starts, to keep me away from the snacks during that stressful time too.

So, yes, sugarfree gum is my love of the week.

Unexpected Writing Exercises

2011-09-20T17:38:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously, seriously trying to get back into blogging regularly. My mind's been in about sixty different directions over the last couple of months, so it's been hard. To give you an idea: Pottermania, Portkey (during LeakyCon), Portkey (after LeakyCon), Deathly Hallows Campaign and general HPA staffer stuff, finding an apartment, signing a lease, moving...Dublin Irish Festival and Columbus Feis and upped rehearsal time that comes with those things, Post-Potter Depression, unpacking, trying to get through my TBR pile, writers group, writers group hiatus, diet, revisions, vlogging...identity crises because of Pottermore, then getting over the identity crises...going to funerals and weddings...planning the 20th Anniversary Homecoming alumni band stuff for my high school marching band...starting an agent search...finally finished unpacking, but still trying to buy stuff for the apartment...trying to keep in touch with friends and family...all while trying not to lose my mind. Oh. And now I kinda want a tumblr.

Yeah, it's been a weird summer.

So, please bear with me while I try to get back into the swing of blogging.

My calendar says it's Writing Tuesday. Oh, Writing Tuesday. As I'm taking a small break from serious writing (post-revisions) in favor of researching agents to send my novel to, I had to think for a minute about what to talk about. And then it came to me. Granted, if you watch any of the videos I do on "In the Cardboard Box" (my vlogging project with Emmy), you've heard about this a good three times. Deal. I'm better at talking about things through writing, as opposed to the awkward rambling I do on vlogs.

Have you ever done a round robin story? Where you write the first few lines, then pass it on to the next person to add the next lines? Sometimes it's played by covering the earlier bits of the story up, so you literally end up with one really bizarre story that makes absolutely no sense? I remember we used to do this at the writing camp I went to for a few years when I was younger (yes, I went to a writing camp...it was a day camp and was AMAZING). I think we may have done it in Girl Scouts on a few occasions. It's one of those things that's just really entertaining. But we did it at the writing camp because it's also a great exercise of thinking on your feet. It's basically the writer's version of improv.

When I was in high school, I got introduced to RPGs. Not the WoW kind, but the forum kind. The kind that's a lot like a round robin, because you have your character or characters and you tell the story from their point-of-view, picking up wherever the last person to post left off. I used to be really involved in a Harry Potter RPG over on Darkmark.com, but it died after a few years (I believe Darkmark has a new RPG now, but I don't participate in that one). At first, I kind of got over it--I was probably a little RPG burnt out--but after a year or two, I really missed the whole thing. Bizarre and wonderful friendships sprout from things like that and I missed chatting and plotting with the friends I'd made on RPDM (granted, it was more chatting than plotting, particularly in my case). I also missed writing the character I'd created. I tried to join other RPGs, but I never stayed very long because it wasn't the same. And I never resurrected my character from RPDM, even though she continued to live in the back of my mind, because it felt wrong to put her into a different place, among different people, with a different story.

Until about three months ago.

Three or so months ago is when I got introduced to a very non-traditional RPG. It was almost more of an experiment. It didn't utilize forums. It utilized blog posts in the form of news articles that you could comment on, and Facebook. Called Magic is Might, it was set during the final Harry Potter book...but it looked at everything else that was going on away from the main story we've all read half a dozen times. And, even more interestingly, the timing of it was played out to coincide with the release of Deathly Hallows Part 2. The characters in the RPG would be fighting the Battle of Hogwarts at the same time as the characters on screen, essentially.

I was fascinated. I decided to resurrect my old character and have her play. She started commenting on the news posts and (I shouldn't have been surprised as I was, considering how welcoming a community the Potterheads usually are) she was immediately welcomed into the story. After a few weeks, I created a second, more evil character. Good and evil. Yin and yang. Innocent and a royal pain in the ass. It was fun. Our characters debated, while the players behind them had heartfelt, nerdy conversations out-of-character. And then the movie came out and the Final Battle wrapped up on Facebook, and we mourned.

And once we were done mourning, we created something new, so we could all keep going. We called it Magic Is Might Continues, because that was all our creativity would allow, and we picked up where the story had left off. We decided to figure out what happened after the Battle. What happened in those 19 years between the end of the last chapter in Deathly Hallows and the beginning of the Epilogue?

We've been going for a couple of months now. The friendships have grown tighter, but likewise the plots of grown...more confusing. We're plotting up a storm for our characters. Emails are exchanged all the time and the "evil" characters are being bitter losers and the "good" characters are getting into relationships with each other. And there's drama and Romeo & Juliet and duels with werewolves and arguments and all kinds of insanity.

BUT (and here's where I get to the Writing Tuesday stuff), it's been such a GREAT writing exercise for me. Other than the great friends I've made, I've also been forced to get used to writing some uncomfortable or emotional or intense scenes. I've had to delve into the head of my "evil" character to see what makes her tick that way. I've had to break my "good" character about fifty times, just to fix her again. In the more adventurous scenes, I've had to pick up the action from the previous poster and carry it forward. It makes me think more about character and action and what someone would say in various situations or debates. I've had to argue the negative side of arguments through my "evil" character.

Moral of the story: It's really amazing, the places you can get practice writing.

Love of the Week: Fall TV Season

2011-09-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

I have a somewhat pathetic addiction to television. I almost always have it on, even in the background, and I religiously follow a number of shows. Which means this week, I'm going to be in TV heaven as almost ALL of my shows come back (some start next week). It's going to be interesting, though. Having just moved in with two of my friends, we're trying to figure out how to balance the TV/DVR schedules, so none of us miss the shows we NEED to see. But it sounds like it's all going to work out fine, between a DVR and me having a DVD recorder...so. My love of the week for this week is the fall TV season!

Some of the shows I follow and am VERY excited to return:

Castle-- I always watch it right after dance class, usually while getting some much-needed writing or some other project done. It came back tonight. And, boy, did it deliver. I was looking forward to tonight's premiere, because the finale left us in a Lost-style cliffhanger that was driving me ABSOLUTELY NUTS since May. Thank you, Castle. I thought I'd gotten past all that when Lost ended.

Biggest Loser-- I'm big on Biggest Loser...and I haven't always been quite THIS into it. But a couple of years ago, when I was first starting the liquid diet I was on, I started my diet right around the same time that Biggest Loser came back. And that helped me through, losing weight with the contestants. Now I still love it just as much...it's a helpful reminder to keep the weight OFF. And I love the drama. Ya know.

Glee-- I'm a Gleek. I admit it. And I have the hots for Darren Criss, who's signed on as a series regular this year. I shall be in heaven. (Really, I'm not super-emotionally-invested in Glee, I just think it's fun. And, you know. Darren Criss. HE is enough to watch Glee FOREVER.)

NCIS-- This is a new thing for me. I've never actually watched a season of NCIS AS IT AIRS. I got into the show sometime last year, when USA was running one of their many NCIS marathons. My friend/roommate Tracy talks about it all the time and told me I HAD to watch it, so I gave in and gave it a chance one weekend. And I was hooked. Then this summer, I stocked up on all the seasons on DVD and caught up in chronological order. Then Tracy and I got our third roommate (Kathleen) addicted too. I'm excited to watch it as it airs for the first time.

Grey's Anatomy-- I've been really into this show since about season two. It's going to be strange this season, though, because for the last two years, I've watched each new episode with my mom after bell choir rehearsal. Now I don't live with my parents anymore. Fortunately, my roommate Kathleen is into the show as well, so I'll have at least one person to watch it with.

Private Practice-- I think this actually comes back next week, but regardless. I'm not quite as invested in this one as I am in Grey's, but I still enjoy it.

Sister Wives-- Yeah, I know. BUT LISTEN. This show isn't like all the other nutty-huge-family shows TLC has (which I REFUSE TO WATCH, by the way...on principle that Kate was a freaking nutjob and I find the Duggars to be preachy and obnoxious). This show actually shows a completely different lifestyle...a completely different style of huge family. This isn't just a couple of people who have overdone the having-kids thing. This is a very non-traditional family composed of several parents raising many kids. And it's absolutely fascinating. (That, and the marriage equality advocate in me can't stand the fact that polygamy is such a "thing." I'm interested to see how the Brown family's lawsuit of Utah goes.)

Storm Chasers-- I don't even know the rationale behind this one. I'm terrified of thunder storms and tornadoes and the like. But this show always has me riveted, regardless of the fact that about 95% of the cast is downright annoying.

So, there we go. The shows I'm excited to see return to the airwaves. What shows are you most excited for?

Ten Years Ago...

2011-09-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

I was fourteen years old, a freshman in high school, and I was just walking into science class. It was a third/fourth period block for BESS 1 (Biology and Earth Science Studies, the science class most of the freshmen were taking), and the first thing that caught my eye was the television. It was on, which was strange in and of itself, but on top of that it was tuned to CNN. Although I had only been a high school student for a couple of weeks, I had learned that the classroom televisions were rarely tuned to anything outside of the school announcement channel and the channel that showed the WKHS News on Fridays. On this particular day, though, the entire class was staring at CNN.

Only minutes before, the first plane had struck the World Trade Center.

Our teacher came in and started class, but she left the TV on. At that time, everyone was just interested to see what would happen. Everyone was assuming it was a tragic accident. There was only one kid in our class that thought otherwise. Every few seconds he would say that it was terrorists. But as this kid had a tendency to think that everything and anything was due to terrorists, no one really gave him a second thought.

I was still sitting in BESS 1 when we watched the second plane hit. After that, the rest of whatever we were learning fell into the background. We were all too mesmerized by what was happening on the television.

The rest of the day is something of a blur to me. I remember no one was talking in the hallways between classes, because everyone was in too much shock. I remember that every single television in the school was showing CNN. I remember that it was during lunch that Osama Bin Laden’s video hit the airwaves, and that everyone was crowded around the four TVs in the middle of the cafeteria. I remember that during my history class at the end of the day, the original lecture was forgotten in favor of talking about terms we would be hearing a lot in the coming weeks, including “Taliban.” Oddly, I also remember that it was that day when I rode the bus home from high school for the first time, because all after-school activities got cancelled, so there was no marching band practice.

That day and the days surrounding it were an emotional roller coaster. My father was in Germany on a business trip and we couldn’t get in contact with him for days. My cousin was in Virginia and his job meant he was sometimes at the Pentagon. Until we found out that he hadn’t been there that day, we were worried about him. The following Friday was a home football game, and our marching band re-worked pre-game to pay tribute to what had happened.

It was a day and a week that I’ll probably never forget, regardless of how many years pass. I don’t think any of us that experienced that day will ever forget it. I’ve heard that each generation has a “where were you when…” moment, that one significant day or event or moment that lives in that generation’s memory forever. September 11, 2001 was our generation’s “where were you when…” moment. It’s the day that our children and our grandchildren will ask us about. It’s the day that future generations will study in history class and write reports about and do projects on. I won’t lie that it will be surreal, some day in the future, when my son or daughter asks me where I was when those planes struck the World Trade Center.

And I’ll tell them…I was fourteen years old, a freshman in high school, and I was just walking into science class…

Dancing Through Life

2011-08-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

Pardon the Wicked reference, but it seemed to fit for the title of this post. Hopefully by the end of it, you'll understand why.

In my true writerly nature, I don't do well talking about my feelings. In fact, the only way I seem able to process my feelings is by writing them down. The tougher the stuff is to deal with, the more I feel I need to write.

Today I got some sad news. Terrible news. News that took me a while to process, but when it finally hit, I had to hide in the bathroom to cry, because I didn't want my roommate to ask what was wrong.

I received word that earlier this evening, my wonderful, energetic, amazing Irish dance teacher, Ann Richens, lost her battle with cancer.

I used to dance ballet when I was younger. I danced for several years before quitting. But soon after I quit...I regretted it. I never got to dance pointe. I missed the graceful movements. The regret hit harder in college, when I got the chance to take a couple of dance classes for PE credit. And then I fell in love with watching Irish dance and I knew that was what I wanted to learn next.

Two years ago, I stepped out of my comfort zone and decided to take Irish dance classes downtown. I fell in love with it immediately. I made friends quickly, I loved the movement, it was fun. I was glad I joined Columbus Celtic Dancers...and a lot of that was in part because of Ann.

Ann was, honestly, the most energetic person I've ever met. She could easily have kicked any of our butts if she'd wanted to. She was strong and inspirational. She encouraged us to try our best...and for those of us to whom the dance steps came a little easier, she pushed us to jump higher, step lighter, extend more. Those of us who chose to compete, she expected us to, not necessarily BE the best, but to DO our best.

And we did.

Many of us have won medals in competition, many teams from our group have gone on to place. We're not world champions, but she treated us like we were. It was because of Ann that I felt comfortable enough to go into competition after dancing for only a year. It was because of Ann that this year when I competed, I won five medals.

Ann had more energy than most people her age I've met. She would travel an hour and a half each Monday evening to and from downtown to teach our dance class. She traveled to Ireland several times a year. She worked with us adults and she also worked with the Richens-Timm Academy kids. I don't think she ever sat still for more than a few hours.

It was apparent to anyone who knew her that she loved teaching. She challenged me, she encouraged me, she inspired me. I'll continue dancing, under however many teachers I end up having throughout the years, but Ann will always have a special place in my heart. She will never be forgotten by anyone whose life she touched, she was just that kind of person.

Ann, you will never be forgotten. You will live on in everyone you taught, in every dance step we learned from you, in every medal we win, and in every performance we put on. Thank you for everything. May you rest in peace.

Casting Characters

2011-08-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

You're lucky you're getting a blog post today. I have been living in a state of constantly refreshing my inbox that is somewhat reminiscent to querying agents. Most of my friends have gotten activated into the beta of Pottermore. I, however, am still waiting. It's rather like being picked last for the team in gym class.

I don't wanna talk about it.

So, instead...here you go. Writing Tuesdays. For the next five minutes, my mind will be OFF Pottermore pain.

I went back and forth between two topics. One I might save for later, when I get more involved in the concept. Today, I'll be talking about casting characters.

To be fair, this is not something I'd ever done before this weekend. I'd always considered my characters to live solely inside my head. I've never been good at finding physical representation of any of my characters, because I have very firm ideas of what they look like to me. Occasionally, I've run into some random person on the street or in the grocery store that I'm like "woah, she/he is exactly how I picture [insert character here]" but even that's rather rare for me.

But then this weekend, something spurred me on to cast my characters. I don't know what this "something" was, but...I came to find out that the project was kind of fun. And I kind of like having pictures of all my characters hanging on my writing board over my desk. It makes them all the more REAL to me (which means, it's all the more REAL to me when I have to kill them off...oops?). My roommates got a kick out of it too. They seem to get a kick out of most of the weird writerly things I do..."a kick" being that they smile, nod, and back away slowly.

An interesting thing I discovered during this casting characters project, however, was how difficult it is for me to picture my male characters. I always have a ton of trouble in general with male characters--I hate naming them, I hate describing them, and sometimes they're interchangeable to me. It's really a problem. So it's was an absolute nightmare trying to find people I thought best visually represented my male main characters in my novel. But, I did eventually get it done. And I'm pretty happy with the results.

(I was going to post the pictures of my cast here...but...I'm technology stupid today and couldn't figure it out. Maybe later.)

On the Value of Taking Breaks

2011-08-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

I do this funny thing whenever I re-read the Harry Potter books. I go into what I call my hidey-hole. I rarely emerge for anything. My writing falls by the wayside and I don't get anything accomplished.

Surely, you've noticed I've just gotten out of one of these bouts of Pottermania. It happens a couple of times a year for me, usually. It's just a thing. I can't explain it.

Recently, I returned to my much-forgotten revisions. And when I picked them back up and started to find out where I'd left off, I realized something. What I had revised before my Potter break was...not great. It was good, but it didn't entirely make sense. It was obvious as I re-read the last chapter I'd revised that I had been burnt out when I'd written it.

Which is fine, because it happens. Burn out happens and it's important to realize that breaks are perfectly justified. I've gotten back on the revisions train and my couple month break for Potter stuff. I just have to learn to take breaks that aren't just for re-reading Harry Potter. It's important to have separation from your novel, if only to get a new perspective on the story.

Love of the Week Returns!

2011-08-01T20:29:00.001-07:00

And now I'm back on the blogging train! Hooray!

This week's love of the week was hard for me to figure out. I knew what I wanted to talk about, but...it's more than just one thing. So I'm going to try to use the broadest phrasing I can possibly use, in the hopes that that will encompass all that I want it to.

The Potter Fandom.

Yes, I know. First of all, I've done nothing but talk about Harry Potter on here for weeks. You're probably all sick of it. And second of all, I couldn't get broader unless I tried to say fandoms in general.

BUT IT WORKS. I PROMISE. Hold your hippogriffs, and I'll explain.

There's something (no pun intended) magical about the Potter fandom in particular. It's a level of love and support and encouragement that I've never seen in any other fandom, and I've been in several. The Potter fandom is more accepting than other fandoms, seems less likely to judge, and we can bond together in two seconds. We like doing things like, say, staying up all night together just to answer one strange trivia question...and then we help each other to succeed.

More explanation? Really? Okay.

Background: Two weeks ago, while the rest of the Harry Potter Alliance staff was down in Orlando for LeakyCon, those of us left behind ran a thing we called Portkey. It was an online conference of sorts, for all those who hadn't been able to go to Leaky. We had trivia contests and shared memories of the fandom and did garbage bag experiments and watched documentaries and geeked out together after the midnight premiere of Deathly Hallows Part 2.

And we Livestreamed. A lot.

I was the Gryffindor Head of House for the Portkey house cup. By virtue of that, I was expected to be on most of the Livestreams. I was fine with that. And by the end of the week, there was this core group of Portkey staffers who were on almost all the Livestreams and had, somehow, become the faces of Portkey itself. We don't know how that happened, but it did. Becca, Devyn, Quinn, Dani, Shrima, Kara, Alex, and I talked more that week, through Skype and on Livestreams, than we had previously. And something crazy happened...apparently our audiences in the Livestream found us funny. They told us they wanted us to stick around. Yeah, it was a strange realization for the rest of us too.

Fast forward to this past weekend. Saturday night. Becca, Devyn, Quinn, Dani, Shrima, Kara, Alex, and I had joked about staying up all Saturday night together on Skype to get the Pottermore Beta clue that was supposed to come out sometime July 31. We all got on Skype Saturday evening. Started talking. And then this weird thing happened. Becca got us our own Livestream channel. We posted something on our old Portkey Facebook page. By 8:30pm EST, we were broadcasting live on our shiny new channel, planning on staying up all night and entertain ourselves by running our mouths. Our channel being new, we weren't "verified," so we couldn't have more than 50 people listening to us at one time. This was fine, because we figured we wouldn't get more than ten or fifteen people who would want to listen to us be weird.

Oh, how wrong we were.

We hit our 50-person cap two hours in. According to our Livestream chat numbers, there were another 60 or 70 people just hanging out in the chat, unable to listen, getting information relayed to them through other listeners. Three hours later, we had the same number of listeners. It was the same four hours later.

Our numbers held strong for at least ten straight hours of Livestreaming. We talked about everything and anything. We talked Potter, and inside jokes, and Pottermore, and speculation. We announced rumors about the clue as we heard them. We counted down to 3am EST, which was when we heard the clue would come out.

And at 3:30am EST, the first Pottermore clue of seven that will be opened this week appeared on the site. Together, my fellow Portkey hosts and I freaked out. With the help of the chat, we figured out the clue, we went to the site. We found the Magic Quill. And then we all registered. Technical difficulties put a damper on some of us, that the others took time to help us through. We shared usernames and laughed and had a blast and freaked out about getting into Beta, even if we haven't been allowed to start playing yet.

Here was the amazing part. Some people didn't get through the first day. They have the rest of the week's worth of clues to try. And instead of pointing and laughing or saying "sorry, sucks for you" or basking in the glory of getting into Pottermore Beta when others didn't...the Potter Fandom has been collectively helping each other. We've been cheering each other on, and letting each other know when the clues come out. We've been helping each other register and get the chance to join Pottermore early.

This is the kind of fandom that we are. We celebrate our individual successes, and then we turn back and help our friends. We're the kind of fandom that stays up all night together, on a Livestream, listening to hilarious fan fiction about the Portkey hosts and making goofy inside jokes like "Snugglemore." We're the kind of fandom that can crash entire fan sites because of one announcement, who keeps each other in the loop even when we've been sworn to secrecy. We only half-joke about wearing our wizard or Death Eater robes on airplanes. We celebrate the birthdays of the author and characters that we love. We're activists who fight real-world Horcruxes. We can speculate with the best of them, solve clues like you wouldn't believe, and when we want to succeed, there's nothing that will stop us.

This is why I love this fandom.

Life Transitions

2011-07-20T20:28:00.001-07:00

My childhood is all ending this month. Essentially.

I said goodbye to Harry Potter last week. It was emotional. And I know it's not forever. I'm sure I'll see the movie many more times before it leaves theatres, plus there's the DVD to look forward to, and I'm already counting down to Pottermore. Harry will always be a part of my life, but, regardless, an era has ended. A new era for the Harry Potter fandom has started. Tears were shed.

This weekend I say goodbye to my parents. Kind of. I'm moving out of my parents' house permanently. I'm going into a townhouse apartment with two of my best friends. I'll actually be living in the real world...paying rent and all that. It's overwhelming and stressful and I haven't finished packing yet.

The moral of this story is: I'm sorry I haven't posted on here in a while. I intended to get back on my blog schedule this week, but what with the stresses of getting ready to move and the additional stresses that come with Dublin Irish Festival being only a couple of weeks away, I haven't had the chance.

So I figure...next week I'll start back on my blog schedule. Moving means I'm getting more serious about a few things, because I'm using it as a benchmark. Getting serious about my diet again. Getting serious about revisions again. Getting serious about this blog, and a possible new vlog project, and other...exciting things that I can't really talk about yet, but (shocker) have to do with Harry Potter.

This has been a month of changes for me. I think I'll have a lot to say as I learn in the real world.

Here at the end...

2011-07-14T06:10:00.000-07:00

I've been told a lot of things about my love of Harry Potter

That I'm obsessed.

That it's an addiction.

That I'm a nerd, a geek.

That I have a problem.

I've also gotten a lot of rolled eyes and sighs and maybe-if-we-ignore-it-it'll-go-away kinds of looks.

Maybe it's all true. I embrace it. No one can make me feel bad about my time with Harry Potter. No one can make the last ten years less than they were--and they can't make the coming years less either. I've had experiences I'll never forget. I've made friends I'll always cherish, even if we've grown apart. I've met the most amazing people and learned the most uplifting things, all thanks to this fandom.

Thanks to Harry Potter, I found myself when I didn't even know I was missing. I embraced my inherent nerdiness--the very nerdiness I'd tried to hide--and ran with it. I learned it's okay to be a know-it-all or a goofball or feel lost. These characters taught me how important it is to be myself and to stand up for what I believe in. Harry Potter taught me how to use my voice to speak for those who can't. It taught me that anything can be done if it's worth fighting for. It taught me that it's okay to be scared or unsure in the face of adversity, as long as you face it head-on anyway.

No one can take away the moments I've had over the last decade. Even though it's over, it's not really over. Those memories will always live on. The midnight book releases and midnight premieres, staying up all night to read, making t-shirts and donning costumes, entertaining at the movie theatre, waiting anxiously for the next Mugglecast, solving Jo's scavanger hunts for announcements, RPGs and fan sites, wizard rock, speculations and theories, debating to the death over every miniscule clue or theory or passing reference, Muggelcast Fan Chat late into the night, HPA Livestreams and Skype chats and team meetings, counting down the days and dreading the end. Dying Emmy's hair blue, cheering with every other fan when Hermione punched Draco, house cup competitions and trivia contests, immediately bonding with someone because they're a fellow fan, inside jokes like *confetti* or "delusional" or "HE SAID IRKED", hearing Caitlin scream "not again" in the middle of the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, feeling like this world we read about is read if only we could get to Platform 9 3/4, waiting for cast announcements and theme park announcements, suffering through Post-Potter Depression. Together.

Knowing that, even though it's the end, it's not over.

The fandom will change. It will get a little quieter. The anticipation will be gone, but the fandom is going nowhere. Those of us who grew up with Harry will grow up too. Perhaps have children of our own. And one day, those children will ask about those seven well-loved books on the shelf and we'll take them down and open them up and pass the magic on to the next generation. We'll get to watch them discover Harry Potter for themselves and fret over the next chapter and we'll smile and remember. We'll remember the lessons and the people and the events. We'll remember that anticipation and those friendships.

When that time comes, when I'm passing Harry on to my future children, I know I'll smile. I'll remember vividly the thirteen-year-old girl with the insanely curly hair who skeptically opening this book called Sorcerer's Stone while sitting in her middle school library. That could could never have imagined the impact that book would have.

So, from the bottom of my heart I have to thank you. Thank you to all the friends I made in this fandom and the friends I've yet to meet. Thank you to the fan sites and the podcasts that made me think and laugh and helped me fight away the boredom.

Thank you to Harry, Ron, and Hermione for showing me there are things worth fighting for.

And thank you, JK Rowling, for creating this world for us, that became more than even you probably imagined.

"Of course it's happening inside your head...but why on earth should that mean it is not real?
--Dumbledore, Deathly Hallows UK pg 792--

Midnight Release Adventures Part 2

2011-06-30T20:03:00.000-07:00

The release of Half-Blood Prince will remain in my memory forever for two reasons.

1. It was the first time I had a Potter party.

Sure, I'd done plenty of celebrating with friends for the movies, but as the movies always came out on school days, and at this time I had only just graduated high school, we'd never gotten to celebrate for an entire day. This was the first time my friends and I could fully geek out and count down the hours to the new book. We watched the movies that had come out on DVD by that time. We ate copious amounts of sugar. We laughed over Bertie Bott's and threw half of them away because they were flavors none of us was brave enough to try.

We made t-shirts.

This in itself was both amusing and something of a fail. Amusing because we came up with some clever bit to put on each section of the shirts. Fail because Emmy doesn't know how to tell her right from her left, so the obligatory group pictures turned out hilarious.

This was also the last summer of Media Play. Unlike the release of Order of the Phoenix, my friends I went over early and enjoyed the party over there too. We played trivia games and won points for our houses. Amanda won a stuffed Hedwig in a raffle. We found some of our other friends in line and geeked out with them too. We counted down to midnight, go our books relatively fast, and hurried home to read. While we were in Media Play, though, it had started to storm. Bad. Which leads me to...

2. The death of my "first" car.

I say "first" because it wasn't technically my car, I just drove it more than anyone else in my family. It was a twelve-year-old Cadillac that was affectionately called The Boat. My friends and I had determined long ago it could probably win a fight against anything.

Ha. Not true.

On the drive hom from Media Play, with the rain dumping and the storm raging, we hit a pothole. The car bumped hard, but we drove on. Emmy, who is prone to panicking, asked, "Did we just get hit by lightening?!" Janet told her no, that she probably wouldn't need to ask that question if we had, because she would know. We laughed.

Later on release day, after a bit of sleep, I was reading in my room. The storm started again at random. I ignored it and read on. That afternoon, I left for my summer job at Ritter's. Got in my car. It wouldn't start.

Long story short, we come to find out The Boat had gotten struck by lightening in that second storm. The stupid lightening missed the tree the car was parked under, struck the raised antenna, and proceeded to fry my car's electrical system. The lone survivor was the smiley face ball wearing a mortar board that had been perched on top of the antenna. The smiley face ball now has a scorch mark battle scar down his back, but I kept him anyway for the hilarious memory.

All this for one Harry Potter book.

Love to Hate

2011-06-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

There's something to be said for a character who is so vile, so twisted, so amazingly hateable that an entire fan community is able to be in COMPLETE and TOTAL agreement that the character's demise should be slow and painful.

I've been involved in the Harry Potter fan community for a decade, so I know how people can disagree on characters. Everyone's got an opinion. I love Sirius and Luna, but there are people who find Sirius immature and Luna flat-out irritating. Which is fine. To each his own. So that's why it's always amazed me how much the Potter fans can agree so completely on one thing--we all HATE Dolores Umbridge.

In re-reading Order of the Phoenix, I'm reminded just how horrible Umbridge is. She does unthinkable, torturous things and obviously takes pleasure in people's pain. She's prejudiced and has an agenda at all times. She purposefully tries to make Harry and the other rebellious students as miserable as possible. She's just plain mean. She is, simply, the character we all love to hate.

I'd wager a fair guess that Umbridge is more hated than Voldemort (at least he gives interesting monologues).

A couple days ago, this idea was reinforced when I posted a status on Facebook saying how I always remember why I hate Umbridge so much when I read Order of the Phoenix. Within hours, several of my friends had either "liked" the status or made a comment expressing their own severe dislike of Umbridge.

Which got me thinking.

As a reader, I can't stand Umbridge. I laughed when she got carted off by the centaurs. I grit my teeth when she showed up to Dumbledore's funeral. I took great pleasure in reading a funny list of the "Top Ten Fates Wished Upon Umbridge," then printed it off to save forever. I really hate Umbridge. With an undying passion.

As a reader.

As a writer, I'm deeply in awe of the effect Umbridge has on people. I would love nothing more than to be able to write a villain so horrible that he/she gets a similar passionate response from readers. That would pretty much make my life.

First Midnight Book Release

2011-06-21T16:39:00.000-07:00

The first time I went to the midnight release of a book--any book--was when Order of the Phoenix came out before my junior year of high school.

The concept of a midnight release was new to me and it seemed magical. The bookworm and nerd in me were both very happy. I don't remember why exactly, but for some reason none of my friends were able to go to the release. Maybe we didn't plan anything. Maybe none of us anticipated just how big of a deal it would become.

Whatever the reason, I was on my own for this first midnight release. Almost. My younger sister, Laura, wanted to go too. But there was only one problem: I didn't have my driver's license yet. I was only a few weeks out from being able to take my test, so I couldn't just go with my sister.

This meant our mom had to accompany us.

A few crucial facts about my mom:

1) She's not big on crowds, and there were bound to be crowds at Media Play, which was where Laura and I had reserved our copies of the book.
2) She's not big on waiting in lines, at least as far as I can ever tell.
3) She's not big on being up and out late--she's more of a fall-asleep-on-the-couch-watching-TV kind of person.
4) She's not--NOT--into Harry Potter.

So all things considered, I was more than a little surprised Laura and I managed to convince her to go with us. It may have had something to do with the fact I needed more night driving experience with my temporary license anyway. Or maybe my sad, puppy eyes worked. Whatever the reason, Mom agreed (on the condition that we would only leave half an hour before midnight because she was not waiting in line for two hours).

It could be a tribute to Media Play's dying business that we actually got decent places in line that close to midnight. The second I got that book in my hands, I started reading it. I devoured it. For the next several days of PE summer school, my friend Caitlin and I spent our laps around the track fangirling the book and spouting out theories and analyzing every detail. There was one memorable morning after I'd finished the book, when the first thing I said when I saw Caitlin was "HE SAID 'IRKED!'" (In regards to a bit of Voldemort dialogue...and I always love Voldemort dialogue.) For months after that, the word "irked" was an inside joke for us.

It wasn't the grandest midnight release I ever attended. I don't have pictures from it like I have from others. There weren't any epic marathons or homemade t-shirts and I'm not even entirely sure I went in costume. But that release, and Order of the Phoenix itself, still hold a special place in my heart for being the first.

Goblet of Fire...and Me

2011-06-12T17:46:00.000-07:00

I first started reading Harry Potter the fall after Goblet of Fire (the book) was released. As I've said before, I originally refused to read the books, but my friends and two of my aunts were what convinced me otherwise. My friends because there was no escape from their harping. My two aunts becaues they like recommending books to me, rather enthusiastically, when I see them each Thanksgiving. I figured one way or another, I'd be annoyed into reading Harry Potter.

The irony was that it was over Thanksgiving at my one aunt's house that I finished Goblet of Fire, thus catching up in the series completely. I particularly remember sitting in the corner of the family room, conversations going on all around me, my nose stuck in the book. I was toward the end of the novel. Harry was in the graveyard. I had just gotten to the end of this action-packed chapter--had just read the line "Lord Voldemort had risen again"--when my mom told me it was time to go to bed.

It's a mark of how invested I was in these stories I swore I would hate that I barely slept that night. I woke up at first light the next morning (something I don't do) and I resumed my corner in the family room to find out what would happen to Harry.

Goblet of Fire has long been in competition as my favorite Potter book. Perhaps it holds a place in my heart because it was the most recently released when I first fell in love with the series. It's certainly the book I re-read the most while I waited for Order of the Phoenix to come out. Likely, it's also the excitement, plot twists, and thrills. Maybe it's the memory of finishing it over that Thanksgiving. Whatever it is, it was the first Potter book I personally owned. I've read it so often that the binding on my hardcover copy is starting to shred and the cardboard shows through in the corners.

This week, I started it again.

The Magic Never Dies

2011-06-01T19:58:00.001-07:00

This week, I began to re-read Harry Potter for the last time before a movie comes out. It's bittersweet, knowing that this is the last time I'll do this. I'll always re-read the books, of course, but I'll never again be doing it with a purpose in mind. So many times I've re-read them to get ready for a book release or a movie release, but after this summer, that'll all be over.

I've been keeping a journal of thoughts as I've done this. Perhaps that sounds a little overkill, but I can't help it. These stories have been a dear part of my life for more than a decade. So here's the first of my thoughts as I've been reading.

The first time I read Sorcerer's Stone, I was thirteen-years-old. It was fall of 8th grade. My friends had badgered me for months to pick up the book and they'd finally worn me down. I sat at a table in our middle school library and started to read.

At the time, I couldn't tell you what sucked me in. I'm still not entirely sure. Perhaps it was the idea of such an ordinary boy being something more. Perhaps it was the witty writing or the intriguing plot. Perhaps it was simply the magic.

Whatever it was, it hooked me. And not long after, it hooked my sister too when I insisted I read the books to her each night as she cleaned her hamster's cage. Then it hooked other friends who came into my life. The stories were intoxicating.

It doesn't seem to matter how many times I read this first book, or any of the others. I'm still just as invested as the first time. I know what happens, could probably quote the story verbatim, and can find any tiny detail in the book at the drop of a hat, but I'll still stay up until the wee hours of the morning reading, like I've never read the book before. It will still nag the back of my mind as I do other things. When I'm reading it, even if it's for the twentieth time, I still can't put it down.

That is, I think, the true magic of Harry Potter--that the magic never seems to dissipate at all.

Favorite Potter Character (#1)

2011-05-07T10:09:00.000-07:00

I know I usually do a post about what book I'm reading each week on Thursday, but the book I'm reading now I'm actually doing to review for Fiction Flurry. So I don't want to spoil the fun and say anything here yet. So instead today you get another random Potter post!

----

Just like everyone else in the world, I have my favorite characters in everything I read.

Lord of the Rings? Aragorn. The Wicked series by Gregory Maguire? Elphaba. Hunger Games? It's a pretty distinct tie between Cinna and Finnick, but I actually really like Katniss too. Will Grayson, Will Grayson? The first Will Grayson, but Tiny has a special place in my heart too. Prophecy of the Sisters? Lia.

Thinking about it, most of my favorite characters are also the protagonists of said books. Maybe that makes me predictable, but it also makes sense...why read a book if you can't root for the main character?

And while I definitely root for Harry, he's actually never been my favorite character in the Harry Potter books. Actually, two of the three characters I count as my favorites aren't really even in the "starring" cast. They're definitely important, but there are large gaps between when we see them around.

But I'll get to them later.

There's one character in Harry Potter that I've adored since the very beginning.

Hermione Granger.

Honestly, I think the reason I was so drawn to her so early on was because it was like reading about myself on the page. She's kind of nerdy, definitely a know-it-all, a bit of a teacher's pet. She loves school and reading and books. She's very logical. When I was in eighth grade, that pretty much summed me up. I was definitely a nerdy, know-it-all, teacher's pet who loved school and books. That changed a little as I grew older, but for the most part those facets of my personality still remain. Poor Hermione starts off the series as something of an outcast, and just a couple years before I started reading the books, I was an outcast too. The concept of friends I could truly rely on was a relatively new one to me when I started reading Harry Potter.

I even had the out-of-control, dirty blonde hair.

There were times I was compared to Hermione among my group of friends. I've dressed up as Hermione more times than I can remember. She's always been my absolute favorite. I was beyond thrilled when I came to find out that she can be kind of a bad ass when she needs to (giving Malfoy a good slap in Prisoner of Azkaban, anyone?). When I'm reading a book, I can't really deal with the poor-little-me, weak, damsel in distress. Most girls aren't like that in the real world, why should they be like that in stories? I hate it when the female lead feels like her life is incomplete without the guy. It's fine if the girl is a little weak, but she has to have some strength in her somewhere, even if she doesn't realize it at the beginning. These are the characters I like to write, and the characters I like to read.

I think Hermione is one of the most real female leads I've ever read. She has her weaknesses and her insecurities, but she can take care of herself. She gets crushes on boys, but it doesn't run her life. She sometimes needs help, but she's also perfectly capable of taking control of a situation. She can be annoying, but what person isn't like that sometimes? She gives Harry and Ron reality checks all the time, but she gets reality checks right back. She's by no means perfect, which makes her that much more real. Hermione is awkward, uncomfortable with her appearance sometimes, but it's not the central concern in her life. In my opinion, she's about as real as a female character can get, which is probably one of the biggest reasons I've always liked her so much.

Let the Pottermania Begin

2011-05-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't do it. I refused. For a month and a half during the beginning of eighth grade, I tried to ignore my friends' insistence that I should. I tuned out their intense conversations in between classes about these people they loved that didn't actually exist. They debated theories and storylines, and I rolled my eyes.

Not long into this, I came to find out two of my aunts were just as involved as my friends were. And my aunts liked recommending books to me. It's how I got so immersed in the Dear America series. For several Thanksgivings, I came home with books my aunts thought I'd like. So between my friends and my aunts, I just kind of figured I'd have to do it eventually.

Sometime in October 2000, I gave up. I went to my friend Amanda for help.

"Fine. Tell me which one is first. I'll read it, but I won't like it. Then you guys have to drop it."

We went to the library and she helped me find what I was looking for. I didn't know which one was first. The only thing I knew about it was what my friends had told me. I was going in completely blind and completely convinced I wouldn't like it. I didn't like fantasy or wizards or magic.

After we found the book, I sat down at a table in the library and read the opening of this story so many people loved, but I was sure I would hate. The opening that I would later be able to quote verbatim, because I'd read it so much.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense."

It was pretty much a downward slope for me after that.

For over a decade, Harry Potter has been at some central point in my life. I first started reading the books after Goblet of Fire was released. In fact, I finished reading the fourth book while I was with the aforementioned aunts that Thanksgiving. Many of my fondest memories are from shared Potter experiences I had with friends. These books essentially defined my teenage years and the stories continue to play a part in my life as an adult.

I tend to re-read the whole series straight through at least once a year. Usually twice. I have yet to do it three times in one year, but I imagine it'll happen someday.

This July marks the end of an era. The final Harry Potter movie comes out on July 15. There will be no more movies, no more books, no more releases of any kind to use as an excuse to dress up as a favorite character and party with fellow geeks. I was sad when the final book came out a few years ago, but I knew there were more movies to look forward to. Now those will be over too. It's bittersweet.

But because of this, I've been rather reflective lately regarding the last ten years of Pottermania in my life. Over the next months, I'll be reflecting these points on here. At first, it's probably going to be a little random, but starting at the end of May or beginning of June, I'll start to re-read the series again to get ready for the last movie. At which point, I'll be reflecting on certain moments, certain theories or debates, certain bits of the story, etc. Book by book. Because each book holds special meaning to me. For the last three, I went to the midnight releases. There are specific thoughts I remember having regarding the books or theories around them. There are certain things that happened in my life that relate either directly or indirectly to reading Harry Potter at that time. And, of course, there are certain friends I have that I wouldn't have known otherwise, certain experiences I've had that I wouldn't have gotten to have.

I feel like, because Harry Potter has held such a spot in my life for so long, it's long overdue to reflect on all of this. I hope you join me for this ride.

Writing Pains

2011-05-03T17:33:00.000-07:00

"This is the magic/curse of writing: That in crafting your fiction, you leave yourself open to sudden moments of unguarded truth, and you have to be willing to tolerate that again and again. You have to keep raising your sword and charging, even knowing you could retreat scorched and missing a limb. You have to keep doing it even when you don’t want to. Especially when you don’t want to."

This brilliant quote is from Libba Bray's most recent blog post. And it's just so true and spoke to me so much that I felt I needed to add my own thoughts.

I'm not going to lie. There are sometimes when I wonder why I keep at this writing thing. There are times when I feel like my characters are all the same and my stories are all the same and it's just one giant circle. When I'm smack in the middle of a first draft, there are times when I can barely get up the will power to pick up the pencil (or keyboard...I don't tend to write longhand unless I have to). It's times like this when I really have to hunker down and just do it, because otherwise it's never going to get done.

There are also times when it's emotionally difficult for me to write a scene. A novel I wrote about a year and a half ago, there was a scene that I was absolutely dreading writing. Even now I can't pinpoint exactly what it was, but they were emotions I didn't want to face. More recently, I had to kill off a character I'm pretty partial to. I drew out the scenes leading up to that as much as I could. I dawdled. It took me a week to get to the actual death and then I was depressed for days.

And then there are times that I'm anxious for no reason, but I can tell it has to do with a story on my mind. I had a knot in my stomach all afternoon yesterday and off and on today. There's a story I keep thinking of and it's one that I feel like I should tell--but at the same time, I feel like I shouldn't. It's incredibly draining.

Writing is a painful and wonderful art. It makes us face emotions that we don't want to face, but we have to anyway. We have to think about the tough stuff and we have to understand how to get through it. We get to learn right along with our characters. And I feel like all this, as confusing and painful as it can be, is more a blessing than a curse.

Love of the Week: Skyway Flyer

2011-05-02T20:47:00.000-07:00

I've gotten really into these indie YouTube musicians. I posted a couple weeks ago about Ministry of Magic, a wizard rock band. This week I'm posting about Skyway Flyer (aka Jason Munday). He is actually one of the members of MoM, but his solo stuff is absolutely amazing too!

I particularly enjoy this acoustic version of a song from his album (which you can buy on iTunes). Definitely check him out!

(Belated) Book of the Week: The Last Little Blue Envelope

2011-04-30T14:30:00.001-07:00

Do you ever have those weeks when life just kind of gets away from you? That's kind of what happened to me this week. Thus why you're getting the book of the week post I normally do on Thursday...on Saturday.

Frankly, I'm just impressed with myself that I'm doing it at all.

Between killing characters, making chaos, trying to get some reading done, and going through all the normal HPA craziness that comes with ending one campaign and starting another, it's kind of amazing I made it to this weekend. It was just an interesting week of trying to get things accomplished, but only getting about half of the things done I wanted to originally.

Ah, well. Win some, lose some. Whatever.

ANYWAY.

The book I've been reading this week is (finally) The Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson. It came out on Tuesday and I was SO EXCITED to finally get it.

It's just as wonderful as I guessed it would be. I always love what Maureen Johnson writes, though, so I didn't worry otherwise. I wish I could have gotten more read this week, but I'm loving it anyway. If you get the chance to read this book, I'm sure you'd love it too. It's just quality YA.

"I have to ask...are you writing a novel?"

2011-04-26T18:55:00.000-07:00

BACKGROUND: I bought an Alphasmart 3000 word processor a few months ago. It's kind of a ridiculous looking plastic toy that has become my lifeline to getting significant words down each day. Every day at work, around noon, I go down to the cafeteria, buy a salad, go sit myself down at the smallest table I can find (because when I sit at the longer tables, I end up getting crowded by people when I'd rather have my personal bubble), break out my Alphasmart, and get to work for 45 minutes.

Anyway, so that's what I've been doing almost every lunch break for the last few months. I plug away at my little, silly-looking Alphasmart and try to ignore the people staring at me (because, yes, I have actually caught people staring at me a few times). And then something happened a couple of weeks ago that kind of made my day.

An older gentleman came up to where I was sitting and he said, "Excuse me, but I have to ask. What is that?"

So I explained to him that it's a word processor that I can keep in my bag and hook up to my home computer later.

And then he asked, "I guessed you were writing something! Are you writing a novel?"

There's something incredibly...humbling, I guess...about seeing someone get so excited when they find out you're writing a novel. There's this whole idea that novelists are magicians of sorts, people to be admired. Or, rather, there's that idea among people who like to read, anyway. I don't know about the rest of the population. But you always hear about the dream of "writing the next great American novel" and people say this with a sense of wonder.

And I get that, because I'm a reader. And I follow my favorite authors on the social networks religiously. And I love hearing the backstories.

But, at the same time, I write novels myself. That separation has disappeared for me. I no longer look at writers and say "that's amazing, I want to do that" because I DO do that. I may not be published yet, but I create worlds of my own, and have characters that bug me in the middle of the night, and fend off the plot bunnies, and do word counts, and celebrate finishing a first draft manuscript by getting frozen yogurt. I feel all the ups and downs of writing a novel. I procrastinate like hell in that lull in the middle.

Over the last couple of years, writing novels has just kind of become, well...life.

So it was something a little surreal when this gentleman got really excited that I was working on a novel during lunch. And then the surrealness has continued, as apparently the two of us eat lunch at the same time, so I've run into him almost every day since. Usually, he'll just wave enthusiastically, but today we got into a conversation about what I'm writing and if I'm published and all the bookstore drama going on.

Seeing someone I don't know so intrigued and excited about my writing just renews my love of it. It makes me remember what I do, through the eyes of people who don't do it too. I create worlds. I tell stories. I suck people into these times and places that they never expected to be. There is definitely something magical about being a writer.

So thank god for the random strangers who ask things like "Are you writing a novel?" to keep that in perspective.

Love of the Week: Accio Books!

2011-04-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

So this week's love is slightly shameless, seeing as how I'm a staffer for the HPA (Harry Potter Alliance).

This is the last week of HPA's annual Accio Books! campaign. The short version of it is that Accio Books! is a book drive. This year we're being super epic and actually building a library for the Bedford-Stuyvesant New Beginnings Charter School. The school opened in September 2010, but they sadly have no library.

Yet.

So that's what we're doing. People are collecting books of all kinds for a K-5 school library. Non-fiction, fiction, picture books, novels. If you can think of it, these kids need it.

And, yeah, this is the last week to send in books that will count for points here. But that's still a WHOLE WEEK when you can mail books to the school! Then just make sure you go enter your donations so your points can count for the house of your choice in the house cup competition. I've been giving my points to Gryffindor!

Book of the Week: 13 Little Blue Envelopes

2011-04-21T20:46:00.001-07:00

Remember that time when I said I wasn't going to read any fun YA until I finally finished The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo? Do you want to know how long that plan lasted?

Well, actually it kind of died two weeks ago.

But the second attempt at that plan died yesterday.

I'm still reading Dragon Tattoo, but I need fun YA to keep me going.

I've actually already read this amazing book before, 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson. I am, however, now RE-reading it, because its sequel comes out next week (The Last Little Blue Envelope) and I'll be darned if I don't get that book the day it comes out. Anyway, this one is just as amazing as the first time I read it. I always love what Maureen Johnson writes, though, so I may be a wee bit prejudiced about it.

Although, in a way, I don't consider it cheating on my Dragon Tattoo goal, seeing as how I've read 13 Little Blue Envelopes before. Next week, when I start reading the sequel as soon as it's in my hands, then I'll definitely be cheating on my goal. But that's next week's issue.

Random Wednesday: Why Tornadoes and I Don't Get Along

2011-04-20T19:16:00.000-07:00

I mean, yeah, no one's a big fan of tornadoes. I don't see anyone cheering when they have to take shelter in the basement.

In the interest of full disclosure, Spring is my favorite season. I love the colors and the smells and the warmth (but not too warm of warmth...just enough so I don't have to wear my wool coat anymore). I love the flowers and the garden-planting and the sounds of lawn mowers cranking up again. It's a great time of year.

Minus it being the start of storm season.

I've always been anxious around storms. The thunder and lightening make me unrealistically nervous. I don't find the pounding rain soothing. It kind of gets on my nerves when I have to keep unplugging my computer to save it from power surges, and power outages are not my definition of a jolly good time.

But the worst part...the absolute worst part is the tornadoes.

In a way, it's ironic. I have a rather irrational fear of tornadoes, considering I've never actually ended up in one. But my favorite movie is Wizard of Oz and I was addicted to the show Storm Chasers for a few years.

Yeah, I'm a little backwards.

The very idea of tornadoes (outside of my movies or TV) makes me nervous. It could be on the other side of the city, and I still won't sleep well. It doesn't help that a tornado siren is located somewhere near my house, so when my county goes on warning, my ears get blasted away. I always get a little jittery whenever I have to go take shelter. And I've gotten into this unnerving habit of immediately taking stuff with me to "save," just in case--my laptop, my first teddy bear (Bunky), my sorority pin.

Fortunately, I've figured out ways to relieve the anxiety. In the case of taking shelter, I always take a book with me to read. If I'm reading, I don't let myself think about what's going on around me. And if we don't have to take shelter, I blast my music.

So what inspired this week's random post? It could possibly be the 2am wake-up call I had this morning when the tornado sirens blared because of the tornado hovering over the other side of the city. It made for a rather tired Erin the rest of the day.

Writing Tuesday: From the Playlist

2011-04-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

I've shared "theme songs" for my novels on here before, so I'm going to do that today too for Writing Tuesday!

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about playlists over on Fiction Flurry. If you read that post, then you know that I'm a big fan of novel playlists. I have a little too much fun creating them. And when I hear a song that I feel would fit in well with a character or a feeling or whatever, I almost always get it for my iPod.

This was one of those songs.

I'll admit it...I'm a Gleek. I just think the show is a fun one. And when they did this song for the regionals episode (it's a Glee original, actually!), I knew it belonged on my playlist for Call to Action, the project I'm currently revising. It describes my protagonist, Care's, journey so well for me.

Love of the Week: Peeps

2011-04-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

What with Easter coming up this weekend, it seemed appropriate for me to have this week's love be something Easter-related.

Like candy.

My favorite Easter candy has always been Peeps. Sugar-covered marshmallows are just a win anyway, but then when they're in cute shapes, I don't see how you can lose.

Plus...they're really fun to put in the microwave!

Book(s) of the Week: Dragon Tattoos and Grammar Nerds

2011-04-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

I pretty much crank through a book a week. Normally. So I figure I'll use Thursdays to ramble about whatever I'm reading, or have been reading...or read...each week.

The whole "book a week" thing doesn't really count this week, because I'm STILL READING The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Ugh. I miss my YA, but I'm trying really hard (and have already failed once) at not picking up anything YA until I FINISH THIS BOOK.

Here's the thing about Dragon Tattoo...it starts out way too slow for me. I've been trying to read this for at least three weeks now and have only just gotten to page 150 or so. And it's JUST NOW interesting me. But I bought the book a few months ago, and I started reading it, so now I feel obligated to finish. *sigh*

The whole "don't read anything until I finish Dragon Tattoo" doesn't count for books on writing, because I pretty much constantly have one I'm in the process of reading. The writing craft books tend to take me a little longer than a week, but...oh, well.

The craft book I'm reading right now is...

I'm really enjoying The Writer's Notebook. I actually bought it at the Book Loft last week when I went there with some of the girls from my writers group. I'm really in no hurry to finish it. I try to read an essay every few days, but they're all really quite interesting. I'm addicted to writing craft books. I can't help it.

And, last but most certainly not least, I'm also reading:

That's right, folks. I'm also reading a book about grammar. But it's a HILARIOUS book about grammar, so that has to count for something, right?

...Right?

Random Wednesday: Why People in Ohio Need to Learn to Drive in Precipitation

2011-04-13T19:15:00.001-07:00

Wednesdays...they're going to be random. They WERE going to be ranty, but that seemed highly pessimistic of me. So...sometimes there will be rants, and sometimes it'll just be me spurting off whatever I feel like that week.

This week, I want to talk about why people in Ohio need to learn that precipitation DOES NOT EQUAL driving like a moron.

I mentioned earlier that it was raining on Monday. I hate...HATE...when it rains and/or snows where I live, because for some unknown reason this makes people forget all they learned in driver's ed. I mean...this is Ohio. It rains a LOT during the spring and snows a LOT during the winter. It's how the midwest works. But, somehow, during the intervening months, no one can seem to remember what this wet stuff is.

I usually take the back roads to get home from work, mostly because the outer belt is an absolute nightmare during rush hour. BUT, I've since learned that when it's raining hard or snowing, I need to avoid said back roads. The traffic backs up ridiculously. No idea why. It's not like there are that many more people out and driving when it's raining/snowing. It's just that people forget the concepts of the gas pedal and green lights.

So why this rant? It was coming, to be honest. I rant about the sucky driving of my fellow Ohioans nearly every time there's precipitation in the air, because I just don't get why this is a problem. But on Monday I nearly got slammed into by some idiot who ran a red light, and that really was the icing on the cake.

The best part was...after I laid on my horn...he just stared at me like "what?" Yeah. What. IT'S A RED LIGHT, GENIUS!

I'm okay, though. I didn't get hit, even though I was within a few feet of it. But it just didn't help my mood that day, when I was already not a very happy person (Mondays and I just don't get along, and this past Monday was particularly drawn out).

The moral of the story? Learn to drive in precipitation. It's good for you.

Writing Tuesday: The Voices in My Head

2011-04-12T17:20:00.000-07:00

Tuesdays will be my day of talking about writing and the writing life. Thus, I name them WRITING TUESDAY. This will be my day of the week to talk about whatever it is I feel like talking about regarding writing...be it my writing, or something I read about writing. Maybe I'll share some passages of WIPs. Who knows?

So, here's my first Writing Tuesday post!

Last night, this conversation happened between me and one of my best friends...

Me: My character is going to hate me.
Tracy: Huh?
Me: She's going to hate me. I'm killing off a ton of people.
Tracy: Okay...
Me: She's never going to talk to me again.
Tracy: You do realize your characters aren't real, right?

I've been told this about a thousand times by people who, well, aren't writers. Because writers realize that, on some level, the characters are real. We know that we can't always control what comes out of our characters mouths.

It's like we have voices in our heads.

I learn new things about my various characters all the time. Right now, I'm writing the first draft of the sequel of the novel I'm about to send out. And I've learned some interesting new things about my characters over the last manuscript and a half.

1. One girl doesn't deal with stress very well. And she's slightly bi-polar most of the time.
2. Another girl can never keep her opinions to herself. Ever. Even when they're arguing about life-or-death situations.
3. My protagonist can be an emotional wreck, but she can also be ridiculously intense and focused.
4. One of my protagonist's best friends...yeah...he actually has a heart. Awwwww.

These things? Yeah, I didn't know about them when I first created these characters. These are things I only ever found out because I let my characters control the story and say what they need to say.

I think this is one of the best things about being a writer--it's like no matter how old we get, we can still have our imaginary friends.

Take 2: A New Schedule...Starting with LOVE OF THE WEEK

2011-04-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

You know, I feel like I say this a lot...but I have really been failing at posting on here. Shame on me.

I got to thinking about this over the last few weeks and I realized that really the only time I've posted on here regularly, and not failed, was when I did the Thirty Letters, Thirty Days exercise.

So this leads me to...I'm creating a schedule for myself. Maybe if I have a specific topic to post on Mondays-Fridays, I'll actually...oh, I don't know...post. Not everything is going to be writing-related. In fact, as I have the schedule now, only two days a week will be related to what's going on in my writing life. Which I think will be good, especially since I now post over at Fiction Flurry, which is the blog for the writers group I've been active in over the last few months.

So this is the inaugural post of my shiny new schedule. Hopefully this works out well for everyone, because I really do want to post on here more regularly.

MONDAYS will be LOVE OF THE WEEK.

It was going to be "Obsession of the Week," but somehow that sounded...I don't know...too intense? Because some things I love I'm not obsessed with. This week's love I am, but that doesn't mean it'll hold true other weeks.

Why did I choose Love of the Week for Monday? Mostly because I despise Mondays. They make me tired and upset and, on rainy Mondays like today, not very much of a people person. The only redeeming quality of Monday is that I have dance class in the evenings. And Castle's on. That's it. Other than that...nope, I hate Mondays. So, with that, I give you the very first Love of the Week. And it's...

*drumroll*

MINISTRY OF MAGIC!

That's right. I've gotten into wizard rock. I partly blame this on my being a Harry Potter Alliance staffer and I also partly blame it on my horrible habit of randomly surfing through YouTube. Whatever you want to point fingers at, I found a couple videos of this band on YouTube and watched them.

I fell in love.

I bought and downloaded three of their albums from iTunes.

I've pretty much spent the last few working days listening to MoM music. Mostly because it makes me happy, keeps me awake, and allows me to tune out whatever's going on around me that I don't want to listen to. And if that's not the mark of awesome music, then I don't know what is.

Week 26: What do Harry Potter and NCIS have in common???

2011-02-28T14:40:00.000-08:00

Another Monday, another vlog post over at Wo-Town Writers. Figured I'd share it again here. Don't try to follow the logic, because there really isn't any.

Weeks 23 & 24: Heroes vs. Villains vs. Erin

2011-02-15T15:43:00.000-08:00

My vlog post for this week for Wo-Town Writers. And since I need to post more on here anyway, figured I'd share the love. Enjoy!

Where has January gone???

2011-02-04T20:42:00.000-08:00

No...really. I think I missed it entirely.

This happens to me almost every month. Halfway through, everyone around me starts talking about how the month is flying by. I scoff. I claim the month is NOT flying by. And, yet, at some point I blink and we're in a new month.

And then I realize, once again, my epic failure of posting here on a regular basis.

*sigh*

Truth is, my life has been eaten by revisions. I'm trying to revise two things at once. Sound crazy? Yeah, it kind of is. Especially since I'm also trying to write a first draft of something else. And I'm trying to do this collaborative project with one of my friends. And I'm trying not to jump off a bridge.

And, of course, on top of all this, my reading list has gotten ridiculous.

I'm not even going to try to list everything I've read over the past few weeks. The "reserve" button on my library's website has been calling to me since mid-January and, of course, all of these books I put on reserve came in at the SAME TIME.

And as I'm reading those, I hear about other shiny books. It's a never-ending cycle, my friends.

At the rate I'm going, I'm not going to need to hunt for reading material until NEXT January. Which is fine, except that in the summer I need to re-read the Harry Potter series (in preparation for the last hoorah of the last movie coming out) and then I need to re-read the first two books in the Prophecy of the Sisters trilogy (in preparation for the third book coming out) and then I need to re-read the first two books of The Hollow trilogy (also in preparation of the final installment being released).

Yes, so revisions and reading. That's what I've been doing.

In the little free time I've given myself from all of that, I've also joined a local writing critique group. I'm really excited, because I missed having this kind of interaction with fellow writers. We have a blog. You can find it here.

I've also been Irish Dancing my little butt off. St. Patrick's Day approaches, which means the performance season for us. Pretty much as soon as St. Patrick's stuff is over, our teacher has us getting ready for the Dublin Irish Festival in August. Yes, we start preparing for that in April. No, that's not actually all that early, especially when our teacher has been known to mention in at the very first class of the "school year" (which is always a month after DIF).

My other exciting thing is that I've joined the staff of the Harry Potter Alliance as part of their Web Team. I'm super psyched, and it's doubly exciting because the week I joined we launched the next "Horcrux" in our Deathly Hallows Campaign.

Hopefully, all things are going well with all of you! One person commented on my last post with an "award" -- which I hope to respond to next time, when I'm not so tired. I swear I didn't forget! Remember those revisions? Yup. My soul has been nommed.

Some revision-based musings

2011-01-06T17:48:00.000-08:00

You know what I find fascinating?

A year ago (or so), I started quering Nor the Battle. So, it was only a little over a year ago that I finished revising it. I remember when I sent it out into the world, I felt so sure about how it read. I thought it was brilliant. I was confident (for the most part, post-midnight-panic attacks).

Today a funny thing happened.

For some reason, I went back and read the beginning of my manuscript for that. You know what I discovered?

It. Made. Me. Cringe.

What was I thinking, sending that rambly prologue into agents' inboxes for the last YEAR?!

I think it's amazing how my writing perspectives have changed in just a year. The opening felt so pedestrian to me all of a sudden. I didn't know how I could have written that and thought it was such a good opening. Maybe it's because I've had a rather long break from it. Maybe my writing style has changed in the last year and I didn't even notice. Whatever the case, something needed to be done.

So what did I do?

Right then and there, I revised it. Cut out the prologue entirely and fit what had once been in five (or more) pages down to two. Made it so the story starts with Chapter One, with just a bit of explanation as to what's going on in the alternate story (instead of the rambly prologue).

And then, feeling better about myself, I did something I wouldn't have done a year ago.

Right then and there, I sent out two queries. No questions. To some extent, I'd fixed that problem. Now time to test it.

Maybe it didn't make the most sense to send out two queries right away, but I've been digging at this manuscript for a year and a half now. I've revised it multiple times. The only thing I was ever truly if-y on was that prologue. And now that problem has been (I hope) solved.

So...in the last year...not only did my writing style apparently change, but I've also gotten more gutsy about sending out queries.

About time.

Things being read and things being written

2011-01-05T18:29:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2011! I have to say, I'm having a terrible time getting used to writing/typing 2011. I'm also having a terrible time NOT typing 12 for the month. Which is something of an issue, because I deal with dates nearly every second at my day job, so these last few days have been kind of tiring.

First of all, if you follow the Wo-Town Writers vlog, I said this week that if I feel like sharing what I am/was reading, then I would do that on here instead of in my videos. It was making them far too long and was starting to feel silly. So that's what I'm going to do here. Right now.

The book I'm reading currently is The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore. This is actually only the second book of his that I've read, the first being Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal (so funny). I love how ridiculous Moore's stories are and this one is no exception. I'm only about a third of the way into it right now, though. The strange thing for me about reading Moore's novels is that it does take me a while. While I enjoy them thoroughly, they're not quite as enthralling to me as other things, so I tend to get distracted. They're funny stories, comedies, and the novels I can't put down are usually more along a serious line. Still great, though! I bought my copy of Lust Lizard on a whim at Half-Price Books, so the nice thing is I don't have to worry about returning it to the library in time.

Come to think of it, I bought my copy of Lamb at HPB too. Funny how those things work out.

The novel I just finished reading, however, is Just Listen by Sarah Dessen (bought, again, on a whim at HPB...what is it with me and HPB?!). Thank god this past weekend was a long one for me, otherwise I would have been even more tired than I already was over the last couple of days. There was something about this story that sucked me in and I just couldn't put this novel down. I don't know if I could put my finger on what it was. I just know I literally finished this book in one weekend...which is kind of a big deal for me anymore. While I spent the entire novel having a pretty good prediction as to what ordeal main character Annabel had suffered (and was, for the most part, correct), I was still riveted by her story. I loved the underlying plots regarding her and her sisters' relationships with each other, and of course her relationship with Owen. If you haven't read this book...highly recommend.

On a completely un-reading-related note, I'm slowly chipping away at my various projects. Call to Action is very slowly being revised. Its sequel is very slowly taking shape. I'm very slowly losing my mind. You know, the basics. I'm having a slightly more difficult time getting into Care's head for the sequel. Upon reflection, I think this might have to do with how upset she is at this particular moment--it's a certain level of upset that I've never really experienced personally. And her current situation is giving me a headache. New rules in the sequel, new culture of sorts. I'm having to figure out what has become her new every-day, which is exhausting. I might have to resort to index cards to plot this one out...and that's serious, because I don't outline usually.

In the meantime, my procrastination skills have gotten AMAZING.

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-27T15:32:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season...or is having a wonderful season. Whichever way you want to spin it. My holiday season is hardly over. Sure, Christmas has come and gone. But that was only Christmas #1 for me. Christmas #2 falls on New Year's Eve this year. Christmas #2 is when my mom's side of the family gets together for their holiday celebrations. We exchange gifts. We eat rich food. It's all very fancy (sometimes, when EVERYONE is present for the Dudley Family Christmas Party, we'll take a large family picture. The last one was taken two years ago, because that was the last time my cousins were able to make it from Chicago).

And then I have Christmas #3. Sort of. That's also on New Year's Eve, but that one is ALWAYS on New Year's Eve. That's my Christmas party with my friends. Sort of. Because we also combine it with New Year's Eve stuff, it's only Christmas-related for all of an hour (which is when we get bored with unwrapping shiny things and return to our on-going game of Apples to Apples). That party is a Secret Santa one. I bought my person's gift several weeks ago. Since then it's pretty much been gathering dust in my room. Eventually I'll wrap it.

I'll let you know for sure, once all the gift-giving stuff is over, but this year is turning into something of a re-creation of a Christmas I had about ten years ago. That was when I had just fallen in love with Harry Potter. I have a picture from that Christmas...me with all my Harry Potter stuff. A t-shirt, a magnet, a trivia game...some other things too that I can't currently remember. I need to find that picture again, because I might need to re-create it. So far I've gotten the Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook, ultimate edition DVD of Sorcerer's Stone, and a Deathly Hallows wall calendar. My nerdliness makes me very happy.

It's also a Christmas of YA novels. So far I've gotten The Hollow and The Haunted by Jessica Verday, as well as Looking for Alaska by John Green. I'm stocking up on some favorite books, essentially, because when I finally move out I want to have my own little library in my room. I don't have room for it now, because I refuse to buy another huge bookcase until I know what kind of living situation I'll be going to.

I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday season. Have a safe and happy New Year, in case I don't post again before that!

Being Inspired...

2010-12-17T21:33:00.000-08:00

Apparently, my mind needed a bit of a writing vacation. I think that's why I've been in a slump for the weeks since NaNo ended.

I mean, it's kind of understandable.

In October, I was desperately trying to finish Call to Action before NaNo began. I succeeded. I finished the first draft mere hours before ringing in November. I celebrated by getting some Menchie's Frozen Yogurt. And then I returned home to count down to midnight.

Midnight hit. I started writing again. Frantically. I was desperate to win NaNo a second year in a row. I succeeded.

And then I started editing Call to Action.

Frankly, I think my brain was screaming at me to JUST STOP IT, ALREADY!

This past week, I was a little concerned as to why I haven't been able to sit down and start working on Book 2 of Care's saga. The sequel to Call to Action. My first attempt at what might possibly be a trilogy. I was worried that I'd burned myself out. I was worried that I was too scared. I was worried that I would forget something significant that happened at the end of Call to Action, since I'm still trying to read through that mess.

In truth, I'm realizing now that I think I just needed a break. I needed a couple weeks of NOT writing in order to get writing again. I needed a short time to just focus on making Call to Action less of a disaster. I needed to get some pleasure reading done and step away from the writing marathon that my life has been over the last two months. I think the break worked. Over the last couple days, I've felt excited about starting a new story. I've felt ready to begin work on the continuation of Care's story.

At work for the last few days, I've been listening to my Book 2 playlist on shuffle on my iPod. One song in particular has been inspirational for me to get in the right mindset. It's a song that I didn't have when I was working on Call to Action, but I wish I had. It's from Scott Alan's newest CD (it's the hidden track), which wasn't released until I was already done writing that first draft.

I wanted to share it with you, since it's been on my mind. Hopefully, this inspiration will stick around for a while longer and I'll actually get down to writing within the next couple days.

Enjoy!

A new vlog post...about my vampires

2010-12-06T19:19:00.000-08:00

Ever heard of the musical [title of show]? If not...shame on you. It's wonderful. You need to get on that. If you're a creative person at all, you would probably love it. It's all about the creative process and the problems that come with it.

So for this week's Wo-Town Writers vlog post...since it's free week and we're getting to do whatever we want...I decided to talk about how I relate to the [title of show] song "Die Vampire, Die." It's kind of my theme song, especially when I'm starting new projects or editing finished ones. Thus...now.

NaNo Reflections

2010-12-01T17:43:00.000-08:00

Here we are. November is over. Another National Novel Writing Month has come and gone. Somehow, I survived. Even more than that--I won for my second year in a row!

It feels good. It feels incredibly surprising as well. If I'm going to be honest, I wasn't entirely sure I would be able to pull off 50k in 30 days this year. Sure, I was psyched. And of course I was going to try. But...the thing is...this is the first year I've held a full-time job at the same time as attempting NaNoWriMo. The five years I participated while being a full-time student, I managed to fail every year. NaNo 2009 was something of a luxury in my eyes--while it sucked that I didn't have a job, I could focus all my energy on that 50k finish line. My confidence was a little down at the beginning of November this year, because I could only think about those five years when I was a full-time student and failed miserably because I didn't have the time and the energy to put into such intense writing.

Color me surprised when it turned out to be a little easier than I originally thought it would.

The first important thing I learned--just focus on that 1667 words per day quota. Yeah, I knew this from other years. It's preached around every corner in the weeks leading up to NaNo and throughout the month as well. Anyone who's participated can rattle of that you just need 1667 words a day in order to reach the 50k at the end of thirty days. Hell, even I've rattled off that information. I had three mentees this year and I told them this about a thousand times before November started. Still, it was something I needed to remind myself several times. If I could just get those 1667 words a day, then I was fine. If I happened to get more than that, then I was golden.

The second important thing--it's okay to fail. I'm not even talking about the general sucktitude of the story itself (and my novel from this November has a pretty grand level of suck). I even embrace the sucktitude of the NaNo novel first draft. It's part of the fun...just shutting up that stupid inner editor that is perpetually running its mouth in my head and writing whatever happens to come to mind. No, I'm talking about the failers of the actually daily word counts. The fancy stats page on each user's profile on the NaNo site this year showed more info than usual. At the beginning of the month, I somehow managed to convince myself that I would have the perfect November, where I would be at least on quota every day. I never wanted to see those stats fall below the set goals on my page.

This, my friends, was just stupid.

It's okay to fail. I realized this by about week 2, when the struggles started. When the Harry Potter movie came out and one of my best friends from college came into town for the midnight release and I didn't get any writing done for three days, that's when it really mattered. It was okay that I didn't have the "perfect" November stats-wise. The end goal was the important thing, and I accomplished that two days ahead of schedule.

The third important thing--family drama is a great time to write. A story: I went to Hamburg, NY for Thanksgiving. Stayed with the grandparents. Ate at the aunt and uncle's. Spent six hours both ways in the car with my parents and sister. I love my family. I do. But we're really good at the drama. With the exception of my step-grandmother, I'm the only liberal democrat in the entire family. My step-grandmother is far more left-wing and vocal than I am (which might seem impossible, but it's true). Some of my other relations are incredibly far right-wing. When the drama started or the politics were brought up, that in particular was when I opened my laptop. Ignored my family. As soon as all that started, it was time to write.

I got a lot written over the Thanksgiving weekend.

Now it's back to the real world. I have a first draft of a project I finished in October (but started writing mid-summer) that I'm about to do my first round of edits and revisions on before begging friends to read through it too. I have another novel to start--the sequel to the one I'm about to start editing, actually. I'm getting back on the agent query train for the one I started sending out earlier this year. The novel I wrote this November is going to be put in its little drawer, along with all my other NaNo novels, both completed and otherwise. Maybe someday I'll take it back out to make it look less pitiful, but for now we need some distance from each other. It was fun, but now my energy needs to go elsewhere.

Farewell, NaNoWriMo. I'll see you next year.

NaNoWriMo 2010...Week 1

2010-11-07T08:25:00.001-08:00

Well, folks. Here we are. The end of the first week of National Novel Writing Month 2010. So far, I've managed to keep on track. I've gotten into the habit of not allowing myself to go to bed until I have my daily quota--which has, unfortunately, resulted in some sleep deprivation throughout the week days. Ah, well...that is NaNo.

At this point in the month, I'm at the confusing love-hate, don't-really-know-where-this-is-going, I-feel-rambly juncture in my novel. I've discovered my main character thinks more than she talks, which is an interesting new challenge, because normally I feel like I'm heavy on the dialogue. I'm not at all surprised that one of my MC's siblings came out as the uncensored, mouthy personality within the first three sentences--it seems like all my MCs in all my various novels have at least one sibling with this type of personality.

My current challenge, story-wise, is that I've never written a novel that's split into different parts. I don't know how long I want each part to be. I feel like the first part is going to be too short, but at the same time, I'm worried the first part will be too rambly.

This afternoon, I plan to get ahead on my word count, so I don't have to stress about it so much in Week 2, which is a notoriously painful week for NaNo participants. I'm going to the Columbus region write-in at Panera today. A good three or four hours of focus will help me a lot.

6 days until NaNoWriMo 2010

2010-10-26T18:45:00.001-07:00

So...as usual...I have failed on an epic scale with posting my thoughts this October. I fully intended to. I wanted to show, step-by-step, my pre-NaNo planning. I wanted to ramble about how the finishing-the-first-draft-of-the-current-project was going. I wanted to do all of this.

Ah, well. The best laid plans and all that.

We are now under a week until November 1 and the start of National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo never ceases to bring me great excitement. This will be my seventh year, and I'm just as excited about doing it as I've been in previous years. One of my friends from dance class pointed out last night that I write a novel every month, so what's the deal?

Now, granted, she said this in jest. But it got me thinking.

First of all...I don't write a novel every month. I write every month, yes. I'm working on novels in an almost perpetual way. But I do not normally write one novel in one month. Typically, one first draft will take me a couple months (sometimes more, depending on life). So there's something exciting about challenging myself even further to sit my butt down in the chair and get that 1667-word quota for every day. There's something exciting about making the internal editor shut up for once and just write (my internal editor is a real pain most of the time).

But here's the other reason why NaNo still brings me great excitement: the community. Half of the fun is the community of Wrimos (the term for NaNo participants) from around the world. The NaNo message boards remain the one place on the internet where people post in complete, grammatically correct sentences. This community thrives off of jokes that make the rest of the world raise their eyebrows--plot bunnies, Traveling Shovel of Death, writing dares, and everything in between. As soon as October starts, this community jumps into action with amazing energy. Once November hits, this community becomes a place of comfort and procrastination and cheerleaders.

This is a community that encourages NaNo veterans to mentor Newbies. I have three Newbies this year who adopted me as their mentor. I am honored by this. I'm honored that these three Newbies chose me to help them through their first National Novel Writing Month.

This is a community that, when people meet in the real world, it's like we've known each other forever. I went to the Columbus Region's kick-off party last weekend. We all started throwing around inside jokes almost immediately. Everyone was welcoming. The energy was contagious.

This is what NaNoWriMo is to me. It's mostly about the writing, but that's not everything. I could do the 50k-in-30-days thing any time I want, but I choose to do it with the community. The writing is what makes the event, but the community is what makes it special.

Week Five: Walk Dogs

2010-10-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

This week for the Wo-Town Writers vlog, we're talking about how we got started writing. So listen to me ramble on for a while about my writerly history.

Let the countdown begin!

2010-10-03T12:36:00.001-07:00

Friday was a very important day. It was October 1. That can only mean one thing...

We're officially under one month from National Novel Writing Month!

I love NaNoWriMo. It's my Christmas (and Christmas is my favorite holiday, so you KNOW I mean business when I say that). This will be my seventh year participating. Many of those years were such epic fails that it's humiliating, but last year I finally crossed that 50k finish line to win.

The first year I participated was 2004, the November of my senior year of high school. My first NaNo novel was a ridiculous piece of fiction about a bunch of kids in the marching band. All the characters were very solidly based off of my fellow band geeks. Everyone got really into it--everyone who had a character in the story bugged me about it for the whole month and beyond. It was great fun, but I didn't win. In fact, when I finally did finish the story, the whole thing only clocked in at about 25k. Fail.

Over the years, I've learned two important lessons to success. First of all, you have to be actually excited and invested in your story. It's been the years that I was actually interested in what I was writing that I made a decent dent. The years when I just didn't care that much, I would only write a couple thousand words for the whole month. The other thing I've learned is that you need to have a story that you can actually pull out to 50k.

That first attempt in November 2004 was clearly not a story I could stretch to 50k, seeing as how the finished product was half that. I have no idea if the other years I could have stretched, because most of the time, I wasn't fully excited about the story anyway.

Then, last year, I had a story I was psyched about and was pretty sure I could pull to 50k. Granted, I also had a lot of unemployment-induced free time and a diet that I needed to distract myself from, but those were just extra helps. And I won! And I was excited and ran around and scared people by my enthusiasm and I printed my certificate and bought a winner's shirt and stared at the pretty purple WINNER bar on my NaNo profile for a year.

This year is going to be interesting. I have a story I'm really excited for and looks like I can make into at least 50k. On the other hand, I also have a full-time job and limited free time when I'm not working (between working out and various appointments and my freelance job and my activities). Last year was a walk in the park with the free time. This year is going to be a real challenge.

I'm going to try to post updates on here. If I remember. And we all know how much I fail with that from time to time.

Yay NaNoWriMo!!! <3

Meaningful Bookstore Chatting

2010-10-02T13:38:00.001-07:00

I apologize for the epic fail that was my posting some entries throughout Banned Books Week. I had this whole thing thought out and I was going to be like "here's a book...here's why it was banned...here why that's a stupid reason," but life got in the way. Stupid life. And now I'm tired.

However, I feel like I kind of made up for it last night with my friends. You see, a handful of us went to Border's last night and milled around there for TWO HOURS (we went because one of my friends' brothers just published HIS first book and was having a signing, so we were being supportive) and we ended up back in the YA area. If you watch the Wo-Town Writers vlog I post on Mondays, you'll know these people too--three of the other four girls who vlog with me throughout the week...Jessi (whose brother is now an UBER-FAMOUS author because I have a signed copy of his book and I say so), Janet, and Caitlin. So we geeked out for a while and threw book recommendations at each other like the Apocolypse will be here tomorrow and then things took a turn for the serious.

I don't remember what started it. We may have been talking about each other's videos from last week or the fact that our other friend and fellow vlogger, Emily, almost made us all cry with her video, or perhaps it was when Caitlin started weilding around YA books that have been banned for stupid reasons. Whatever it was, we started ranting and debating and meaningfully chatting with each other about banned books and why those who ban them suck.

Here's the consensus we came to: people ban these YA books for reasons like violence or drugs or sex or language. When you ban books for reasons like that, you're just hiding the problem. You're just pretending the problem doesn't exist. But it DOES. Hiding the problem doesn't go away. Because, here's the truth...in the real world, violence and drugs and sex and foul language are EVERYWHERE. Hell, you can't turn on the news without having all of these make an appearance at least once. Last week, a family from my church was the lead story on the news at least once (probably more, but that's the only night I happened to have the news on when it started)--the dad freaked out, shot his two sons, shot himself, left a suicide note, and then his wife found them when she came home. TRAUMA much? These types of things are everywhere and it's not happy and it's not pretty, but we can't hide from it. All the kids in my church who knew the two boys are having to face this reality and it sounds like their parents are doing everything to shield them from it--the mother from this family wanted the children's choir to sing at the boys' memorial service, but the parents freaked out. I guess I can understand, because it's a horrible situation, but you can't keep that veil down forever.

It's the same thing with book banning and challenging. Parents read five sentences from a book or the synopsis online or see the cover or whatever and then subsequently shit a brick. NO! I don't want my child to know that there is violence in the world! There's no murder or rape or domestic abuse! No one drops the f-bomb or says terrible things! The world is a pretty, shiny place full of rainbows and butterflies and that's all I want my children to know!

But then these kids grow up and realize that it's NOT all rainbows and butterflies. They learn that bad things happen, or perhaps, god forbid, something bad happens to them. And because you banned [insert banned book here], your child can't know how to cope with that. Because you took Speak off the reading list at school, now your teenager doesn't know how to feel about the emotional effects of rape. Because you insisted that Harry Potter be removed from your library because it promotes Satanism (which is just crap on so many levels), your child can't read about all those deep, underlying messages of love and friendship and fighting for what's right. Because you took away Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret, your pubescent girl can't know that those thoughts are normal and those questions are normal and wondering about what on EARTH is going on to your body right now is normal.

I am so thankful that my parents never restricted what I read. Never once did my mom see I was reading something and tell me I had to wait until I was older. Not once did my dad storm into my school or my library and say that they couldn't have this book on display because I might somehow get my hands on it. I read Harry Potter many times, and while my parents rolled their eyes and wondered how many times I could possibly read this series before I grew bored (answer: I have no idea, because I'm still not bored with it yet), they never thought I was going to want to do witchcraft. I read The Lovely Bones many times as well, and while my mom said I was morbid and couldn't understand why I love this book so much, she never said that I was going to scar myself for life. They let me make my own mistakes with my reading. One time, while we were at the library when I was younger, I somehow got my hands on a book about the Black Plague and proceeded to read it before we left (it was just a short book...with pictures...in the older kids' area). I scarred myself. I locked myself in my room when we got home and didn't come out, nor did I say anything was wrong when my mom asked. But that was my own mistake to make and my parents always let me make them (with reading, at least). That book was way too old for me and far too graphic and I was traumatized for a few days, but there we are. I didn't read the book again.

I'm sure that book is still in the library, though, because my parents never challenged it or said it should be on a higher shelf.

The moral of this very long story is...you can't shield your kids from the world. You can't assume that they are too young to handle the tough stuff and the deep emotions. They need to learn how to cope with these things now, they need to learn that what they feel is normal, and they need to understand how the world truly is. You're just hurting them more by hiding them from the books that would teach them these things.

A Silent Vlog

2010-09-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

...which is kind of like a silent movie...but not.

In honor of Banned Books Week, for my week four video for Wo-Town Writers, I give censors the silent treatment.

I plan to post some blogs right here throughout the course of this week as well, about the banned books that had a particular meaning to me.

See where I write!

2010-09-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

This is my week three video from the Wo-Town Writers vlog, but it's also a fun opportunity for all of YOU guys to see the places where I write. It's all very exciting.

Catching up on sharing my vlog videos...

2010-09-26T12:58:00.000-07:00

Fail. I was going to post them here as I posted them on YouTube and Facebook, but lo and behold, I have yet to do that. Other than Week One. I just recorded my video for Week FOUR. So...fail.

This is the Week Two video, in which I ramble for a long time about my favorite novels through the years. I like books. I have a lot to say when it comes to books. What can I do?

It's a process

2010-09-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

Today I had an interesting conversation with one of my best friends. "Interesting" in that it annoyed me more than usual. And by "conversation" I mean it was only a few lines of exchange and then we both quickly moved on, because my friend isn't stupid and if I had continued talking I might have slapped her.

Me: My goal in life is to be able to make a living off of just writing.
Friend: How's that going for you?
*awkward silence*
Friend: *smirk*
Me: It's a process.
Friend: *smirk*
Me: Stop smirking.
Friend: *smirk*

Okay, first of all, I know very well that this particular conversation was my own fault, because I opened my big mouth. But what you have to understand is that I've been having battles along these same lines with this same friend for at least six years. And it's very draining.

This is my friend who informed me constantly in high school when I was looking at Creative Writing programs, then constantly in college when I was majoring in Creative Writing, all the way to now (read: she still does it) that majoring in English/Creative Writing is "majoring in unemployment." She shut up about it for a while when she left school, and then again when I pointed out that at least I HAVE a job of some sort (she's the unemployed one currently), but it's started up again ever since she went back to college to major in Accounting.

Here's the deal--majoring in Creative Writing is NOT majoring in unemployment. Nor is majoring in any of the arts. It annoys the living daylights out of me when people tell me things like that, like I was stupid because I chose to study something I'm passionate about instead of studying something only because it would make me a ton of money. I wasn't going to be one of those people. I wanted to study something I love and I was lucky enough that my parents fully supported that.

What really, really got under my skin during today's conversation with my friend was the fact that she had the audacity to smirk at me when I said that, as though that dream is completely implausible. Sure, not every writer can make a living only off of their writing. I get that. I'm not saying that it would be an easy choice to make or road to take or anything. I'm saying that, should things work out, should I find myself capable of living only off my novels, then I want to try. No, I haven't sold a novel yet, but who cares? It's hard. It takes time. Like I told my friend, it's a process.

For now, I'm happy with living off my day job and writing on my off-hours. But I'm a dreamer and a writer and I'm not about to let the disbelief of anyone in my life keep me from trying to achieve those dreams. I'm going to keep standing up for what I studied in school. I'm sick of people, particularly this one friend, being holier-than-thou because they're doing something like accounting and all I want to do is write. I'm going to keep doing what I love. For me, writing makes life worth living.

"Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depth of your heart; confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write." ~Rainer Maria Rilke

An Open Letter to Dr. Wesley Scroggins

2010-09-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

(This is a response to the article that can be found here.)

Dear Dr. Scroggins,

You recently shared a letter on a Missouri news site regarding the reading material of your local school district. And I have one very simple question for you...

Why on earth do you care?

The books that you targeted in your article are books that have been in school libraries and on reading lists for years. High schoolers are much more mature than you give them credit for. They can handle profanity, they can handle the concept of sex, and they can handle reading about the difficult issues. In fact, it's good for them to read about the difficult issues.

I've never read Slaughterhouse Five, but I have read Speak. I honestly wonder if you actually did. Speak is about so much more than you reduce it to in your article. You essentially reduced this beautiful book to a story about a dysfunctional family, an inaccurate view of high school, and rape. First of all, in regards to the family and high school opinions in the story--the whole novel is set as a diary. Tell me, what teenage girl doesn't see her parents as dysfunctional at one time or another? What high schooler doesn't see the people around them as losers or very stereotypical?

In regards to the rape, though--the scene itself is hardly prominent enough in the text to be of concern. The story isn't about the rape. It isn't centered on the rape. It's about a scared, lonely high school freshman girl who had a horrific moment during her summer vacation and she copes with it by staying silent. She chooses not speaking over speaking up.

Right now...I'm speaking up against you.

Censorship is wrong. Keeping adolescents from this kind of material shows that you do not have faith in their ability to handle and/or appreciate it. It shows your own insecurities, your own need for control, and your own attempt to silence someone else.

People don't like to be silenced.

Teenagers don't like to be told what they can't do.

I know this because I'm a writer--and I refuse to be silenced. I know this because I went through those teenage years--and I never appreciated being told not to do something, particularly if it involved something I should be able to do freely (like reading a book).

Have a little faith in America's youth, sir. They're stronger than you believe them to be. They can grasp difficult concepts, they can appreciate difficult themes, and they like knowing they're not alone in the world. Somewhere in your school district, there could be a girl who is a rape victim. She could be unsure of how she should cope or what she should feel. If you keep her from Speak, she may never know.

Do you want to have that blame on your shoulders?

Think before you set accusations. And please, Dr. Scroggins...read the book in its entirety before you burn it at the stake.

Vlogging fun!

2010-09-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

Exciting news! Four of my wonderful writing friends (Caitlin, Emily, Janet, and Jessi) and I have decided to start our own writing vlog! Random? Perhaps.

Anyway, here's the first video. I'll be posting on Mondays. This is my intro video. :)

WIP theme song #1

2010-09-05T19:42:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share one of the songs that has kind of become one of my current project's theme songs. I have many, many songs on the playlist for this WIP...but this (along with a few other songs) is one that ALWAYS puts me in the mindset of the story. So, please, enjoy. :)

I might be sharing more of the "theme songs" for this WIP down the road.

Separation makes the heart grow fonder

2010-08-31T16:41:00.000-07:00

Here's something I learned five years ago when I started college--even though my sister Laura and I have been at each other's throats a good 90% of the time since she was born in 1991, when we no longer have to live together, a miracle happens. Suddenly...we get along.

We learned this the first time when I was a college freshman. I moved to college and only came home for weekends up until Thanksgiving break. During those months, Laura and I talked on AIM...and we actually didn't fight. And then I came home for a week at Thanksgiving and, suddenly, we wanted to kill each other again.

Moral of the story...when we have to live together for more than two straight days, death is a possibility.

Flash forward to now. I'm currently living with my parents and have been since I graduated from ONU a year and a half ago. That means Laura and I just had a straight year and a half of having to deal with each other. Good times? Most of the time...not so much.

As I said in my last post, Laura moved to college this past weekend. She's surviving band camp currently and learning fun little things such as the concept that college boys will do stupid things like running down an all-girl hallway at 11:30 at night and slam into doors. College is fun, isn't it?

In the last three days, Laura and I have talked more (and in a more civilized, friendly manner) than we have in the last year and a half. It's kind of funny. The miracle of not living together lives on.

College and Wicked

2010-08-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

For starters, yesterday I helped move my little sister to college. She's going to my (and our parents') alma mater--Ohio Northern. She's going to be a freshman. All day yesterday, I couldn't help remembering what it was like the first day I moved in my freshman year at ONU.

I lived in Founders Hall my freshman year, and that first quarter I lived in what was quite possibly the smallest room on the whole floor. Which kind of sucked. It is truly an art trying to fit everything someone owns into a room of that size. Laura (my sister) had to start learning this art yesterday as she moved into a room that was probably a good deal larger than what I originally had my freshman year--AND she has air conditioning. I didn't have air conditioning when I was a freshman. I lived in a room that was so freaking hot that we had the window open and a fan going during a mid-winter snow storm and it was still too hot. Life isn't fair.

Anyway, so we got Laura all moved in and on her collegiate way. She has band camp this week for marching band and then classes start after Labor Day. She and her roommate seem to get along really well...and they have all the same stuff. Weird. It's like they were separated at birth or something. She's in for a great four years there, I'm sure!

And then...

DAY 3-- Saturday
Tracy and I went back down to the Ohio Theatre to lotto the evening show for Wicked. This is closing weekend. The tour leaves after tonight. We got down there a little later than usual, because I left ONU a little later than I'd planned. There were significantly less people than the other two times we went this week, so that was nice. We also ran into a friend of ours from high school--a fellow band alum. So we got to visit with her and her dad and just hang out. It only took 15 minutes for the entire line to get through and put in their entries. Then we all just stood around waiting for 6pm.

Nothing too exciting happened at this lotto. We didn't win. We're not going today, because I'm dead tired from the moving adventures of yesterday and I have two weeks' worth of laundry to do.

Today...I also plan to revise my query letter. Not having much success (read: not having any success) with my current one. After I fix that...it's on to round two of sending out queries to agents.

Wicked Lotto attempts 1 and 2

2010-08-26T15:52:00.001-07:00

I have a confession to make. I...am a nerd.

Now, for most of you, that probably didn't come as much of a shock. Actually, I hope that didn't come as a shock for ANY of you, because I don't really try to hide my nerdiness. I have my nose in a book most of the time, or I'm staring at my computer screen writing a novel. I do things like watch YouTube videos of authors and laugh at stupid jokes. I go to midnight releases of all things Harry Potter (in costume). I do these kinds of things.

I also love theatre.

Now, the very first musical I fell completely and totally in love with...the musical that opened the gate for my love of all things Broadway and musical theatre...that was Wicked. To date, I've seen it five times. Two of those times were over the course of the last four weeks.

Like I said...nerdy. But I embrace it.

To add to my nerdiness, my friend Tracy and I are trying our hands (desperately) at winning lotto tickets for Wicked before it ends its tour stop here in Columbus on Sunday. I've wanted to try Wicked Lotto for a long time, but I've never really gotten the chance or had someone to buddy with for it. Because that's the thing...for lotto, you really need a buddy, so your chances are twice as good to get the tickets.

So, for your nerdy reading pleasure (because I know most of you are probably nerds too, if you read my blog)...my first two experiences with Wicked Lotto:

DAY 1 -- Tuesday
I beat Tracy to the lotto line, which was kind of impressive, seeing as how I had to swing by Borders first to buy Mockingjay. So...for a good twenty minutes I stood in line, reading Mockingjay, and eavesdropping on the conversations of my fellow lotto-ers. One girl standing near me had tried lotto all last week and never one. Most of the other people around me were thoroughly confused by the whole process. Some news anchor that I don't know from some news station I probably don't watch was the guest celebrity invited to pull lotto tickets. It saddens me just a little when a "celebrity" from Columbus consists of some obscure news dude. Whatever.

Tracy arrived just in time to join me in line (otherwise, she would have had to go to the end), we went into the lobby, filled out our entry forms, put them in the tumbler, got our hands stamped, and went back outside to mill with the other hopefuls. By the time 6pm rolled around, there were a good 100 people there. At least. At exactly 6pm, they pulled the table with the tumbler out onto the steps and started pulling names. The crowd applauded for the first few winners. We all stopped after that. There were 20 tickets to give away and most people had come with a buddy, so were asking for two tickets. That meant that only about 10 people were going to be pulled out of the tumbler.

When they were down to two tickets left, they announced that anyone who didn't win had the option to go to the box office, show their stamped hand, and get a random open seat for tonight's show for only $40, regardless of where in the theatre said seat may be located. Pretty good deal. People either got very antsy or very pessimistic, because half the crowd rushed to the box office door. Their mistake, because there were at least three people in that crowd whose names actually got called about five minutes after that. Sucks to be them.

We didn't win, so Tracy and I went home.

DAY 2-- Wednesday
I beat Tracy again, which was once again impressive since I came straight from a check-up at the doctor. Again, I stood in line reading Mockingjay. Again, there was an obscure celebrity to pull the names and read the instructions (an afternoon DJ from Sunny 95, which was at least mildly familiar to me...I know the radio station well...still have no idea who that woman was, though). Unlike Tuesday, though, all thoughts of decorum were lost. On Tuesday, there was a line. On Wednesday, there was a pushy-shovey blob. I love when 100 adults act like a bunch of pre-schoolers who all want to be the first one on the Merry-Go-Round. Classy.

Tracy and I actually got through the line (er...blob) faster than yesterday. We separated from the crowd (too claustrophobic), leaned against a nearby pillar, and read our respective books...like the epic nerds we are. Again, 6pm came...the table and tumbler got pulled out, the names got read. This time, though, people were smarter and stuck around before fighting for the box office, so we didn't have to go through a bunch of extra names.

We didn't win again.

We're going to try again on Saturday.

Yay nerds!

The best Sunday ever!

2010-08-02T19:17:00.000-07:00

I've been stressed out lately. I got really behind on sleep last week and felt like I could pass out at any moment all day at work on Friday (which was, you know, fun times...). The impending Dublin Irish Festival has been looming over me for the last few weeks (it's this weekend and consists of two public dance performances...my FIRST very PUBLIC dance performances...as well as my first shot at a dance competition). I'm back on the dreaded doctor-monitored liquid diet to get down to my GOAL WEIGHT (if I could make that in shiny gold letters, I totally would). I've been writing, but even the new novel can't always distract me from that knot in my stomach that always comes on when I think of either the Festival or my diet. Fun times.

So I feel like I deserved some serious escape time on Sunday.

Back story: Starting at my lunch break on Friday and through Saturday night, I read The Hunger Games. I'm behind the curve, apparently, because it took me this long to get around to it. I couldn't put it down. When I finished it late on Saturday night, I immediately was like "OMG I need to get Catching Fire NOW!" But...you know...it was midnight on Saturday night and most bookstores are kind of closed around that time. Bummer.

This is how I ended up with my escape on Sunday. Around noon I threw a load of laundry in the washer and dashed over to Borders. Milled around for a bit, because that's what I always have to do when I go in a bookstore. It doesn't take much for me to get distracted in the presence of so many books, so...bookstores...libraries...I can go in one of those and not leave for HOURS if I really wanted. But I was on a mission, so half an hour later I had Catching Fire in my hands.

As soon as I got home, I switched out the laundry, drank one of my diet shakes, and read the first few pages of the book. Love. For the next...oh...ten hours...I only emerged from my room to a) do laundry, b) get another shake, c) get some water, d) spontaneously check Facebook/email because god forbid I miss something important. For the most part, Catching Fire went with me on all of these adventures around the house. I finished the book late Sunday night. I forgot to vacuum. The parents displayed disappointment in my forgetfulness. I returned to my book (don't worry...I vacuumed this afternoon instead. We're good now).

Here's a little history lesson for you. The last time I finished a book that fast...that would be the first time I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and even that took me a good twenty-four hours (to be fair, though, Deathly Hallows is about five times longer than Catching Fire). It takes a special book for me to devote a whole day to it and finish it the same day I start it. Maybe it also takes me being a little overwhelmed with life to pull that off. Maybe it's a combination of both. Who knows? All I know is that Catching Fire was amazing. I need to read it again. I can't WAIT for the third book in that trilogy to come out later this month. I'm obsessed.

This week, I will be buying another book I'm very excited for--Guardian of the Gate by Michelle Zink...the second book of the Prophecy of the Sisters trilogy. That's another book I'll probably devour quickly. It's good that I have a ridiculous stack of to-be-read books in my room, thanks to a recent shopping spree at Half Priced Books, otherwise I don't know what I'd do after I finish all this amazingness.

My latest inspiration...

2010-07-25T12:05:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago, I was taking a walk. A nice long walk. In the ridiculous heat and humidity that Ohio's been experiencing lately (so I was using this walk not only as exercise, but to get used to being out in the heat and humidity for Dublin Irish Festival). As I usually do, I took my iPod along with me and I was listening to Smart Mouths, a podcast I've gotten rather obsessed with over the last few months. It makes me laugh and think and it's great to listen to while I'm at work.

ANYWAY.

I was listening to an old episode of Smart Mouths, because I was still trying to get caught up. They were talking about the earthquake in Haiti and what everyone was doing to help, how our generation is so into activism and isn't that great.

Then...bang. That one bit, just as I was turning the corner to go down another street...I got an idea. Really, the idea was kind of unrelated to Haiti (actually, ENTIRELY unrelated to Haiti), but fully related to the activism of my generation. Idea. Really exciting idea. As I normally do when I get really excited about a story idea, which hasn't happened in quite a while now, I started talking myself through narrative. A character popped into my head, a story, an attitude. By the time I got home...I was psyched. And anyone who had probably passed me during that last part of my walk probably thought I was insane, because I'm pretty sure I was actually mumbling to myself...lips moving and all.

Since then, I've written a good 6k of this new idea, most of that just over the last week or so (it took me a little while to get the ideas sorted out in a notebook). I'm REALLY excited about this idea. I haven't been this excited about a novel idea since I was writing Nor the Battle's sequel. I don't know why, but I couldn't really find that buzz again. I have now.

And, just for your listening pleasure, here's a bit of what Smart Mouths is like. There's probably a smidgen of language in this clip, because there almost always is, but I can't remember. This is from their YouTube account.

TDTL Day 30: Your Reflection in the Mirror

2010-07-15T17:28:00.000-07:00

Well, look at that. Day 30. I can't believe this is the last letter. It's been quite the experience. I'm really glad I did this. It got me writing something on a daily basis. It got me thinking. And it got me posting on here regularly, which I'd been kind of failing at before.

So, without further ado...the final letter (it's kind of short...sorry).

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Dear Reflection,

Look how far you've come since a year ago. I can't believe that just a year ago, there were 100 extra pounds on you. And in just a couple of months, you'll look even better. I'm so amazed when I look back at pictures of how you used to be.

Don't stop dreaming. Don't stop trying to reach your goals. If you can lose 100 pounds in a year, you can do anything. You can be happy with how you look. You can be the person you want to be. You can have the courage to put yourself out there. You can find love.

It's just a matter of time. Just you wait and see.

TDTL Day 29: The Person You Want to Tell Everything To, But Are Too Afraid To

2010-07-14T19:11:00.001-07:00

Dear Person I Want to Tell Everything To,

There's something to be said for fear. Fear means hesitance. I think we're all afraid to say what we really think, because we don't want to hurt you (or, perhaps, we don't want to hurt ourselves, as the case may be). The sad thing is that you really don't notice anything. In all of this, you're pretty much blissfully unaware.

This makes it particularly difficult. Maybe if you truly noticed something, then I could really talk to you about it, because I wouldn't be so afraid of hurting you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be the one who tells you the truth, the one who breaks the illusion. But out of all of us, I'm one of the ones most likely to want to clue you in. Which is quite the burden to bear.

Maybe someday down the road, I'll tell you. But for now, I like you best when you're unaware of all this. There's slightly less drama.

TDTL Day 28: Someone That Changed Your Life

2010-07-13T19:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Brittney,

When I was in eighth grade, I had the honor of being chosen as part of the West Central Team. I knew it was going to be the experience of a lifetime. I knew it was going to change my life and my view of the world.

What I didn't fully expect was how attached I would grow to you. I knew I would be very fond of my buddy, but you were quite something else. You taught me more in that one year than I ever could have anticipated. Your smile brightened my day more than anyone else's ever could.

It never mattered that you couldn't talk--you communicated in a way all your own. I loved spending those days at the school just sitting with you, helping with your therapy. The day I remember most of all, though, was your class trip to the pumpkin patch. You rode on my lap during the hayride. You gave me the most brilliant smile that day. It was a bittersweet afternoon, because that was the same day I learned you'd be switching classes. I was heartbroken when I thought we'd be separated. But I got to switch with you in the end.

You probably don't know how much you meant to me--and still mean to me. You taught me how to be happy with the very simplest things in life--singing silly songs and rollar skating in a rink. Laughs shared on a playground. Playing with blocks and taking a hayride though a pumpkin patch. A smile. Even if you don't remember me, know that I remember you and still think about you. I know I always will.

TDTL Day 27: The Friendliest Person You Knew for Only One Day

2010-07-12T19:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Girl from the Homeless Family,

Your family stayed a few days at our church once a few years ago, during the church shelter cycle. You probably are all on your feet by now, living a great life somewhere. I hope you are.

Anyway, one of the nights you guys were staying at the church, I was part of the youth group that was helping out. There were a few of us there that got to help entertain all you kids. Somehow, you and I ended up doing arts and crafts together with a few of the others. Which was fine by me, because I love arts and crafts. You made me smile--you were so cheerful and liked talking a lot. I had a lot of fun that evening hanging out with you and everyone else.

You crocheted a chain for me while trying to teach me how to crochet with no hook. I didn't learn how to do that, but I still have the chain hanging out my bulletin board. It meant a lot to me coming from you. I'll never forget how content you were with a life most would imagine as hell. You were content with the minimum, grateful to have a safe haven for that week and movies to watch and yarn with which to crochet.

TDTL Day 26: The Last Person You Made a Pinky Promise To

2010-07-11T17:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Heather,

I don't know you're actually the last person I made a pinky promise to, but I'm willing to make an educated guess that you were. You were my best friend right around that time that we would have been growing out of that particular ritual.

We--the whole group of us girls from that time--were big fans of secrets and promises. Not a bad thing. It amused us all at the time. But I wonder if all that dependancy on each other for those few years is why we so willingly grew apart in high school. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but I do wonder why we grow apart so effectively. Remember that little secret "club" we formed for the group in seventh grade? That cause more drama than good. I doubt it really had to do with the "club" exactly, but it made things about fifty times worse during disagreements. Ah, drama. Our group was so good at it back then.

TDTL Day 25: The Person You Know Is Going Through the Worst of Times

2010-07-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

I promise I wrote this last night. But after the spontaneous roadtrip I took with a couple friends yesterday, I pretty much only had enough energy to scratch this down in my notebook before passing out.

--------------

Dear J,

I don't know you really as well as I should, considering we worked together for as long as we did. You've always seemed so quiet and reserved. That doesn't change how sorry I am about your mom, though. I was pretty shocked when I found out last week. That's a terrible situation to be in and I wish there was more we all could do for you.

This is really short, but I honestly don't know what to say. Your mom, you, and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers. I know that's probably cold comfort, but it's all I can do. I hope things get better for all of you and that you can at least cherish the time you have together.

TDTL Day 24: The Person That Gave You Your Favorite Memory

2010-07-09T18:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Fellow WKHS Bandies of the '01-'02 Season,

I'm such a band geek that I would choose this as my favorite memory. I admit that. But, seriously, the memory of that Bloom-Carroll contest just really can't be beat. It was the perfect addition to that amazing season.

I can still remember the feeling of standing off to the side with all of you before and during the awards presentation. At attention. It was our last chance to qualify for States that year. I remember how loudly we cheered with the other bands before the ceremony started. And then we just had to wait. We on one trophy, then another. We knew we'd gotten 1st Place AA about thirty seconds before they announced it simply by process of elimination. We could hardly stand still right then and at the same time we could hardly dare to believe it. And that was great. But then we won Grand Champion, making WKHS marching band history. We couldn't stop screaming. I think the only thing that made us scream louder was getting that One rating. I remember that all pretense of order was lost at that moment and we rushed the directors. I seem to recall blowing out my voice that night.

That was one of the most exciting moments of my four years in that band. I don't think I'll ever forget the nerves turning to excitement, the feeling that nothing could go wrong. No matter how hard we tried to recreate that moment over the years, nothing else came close.

TDTL Day 23: The Last Person You Kissed

2010-07-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

Dear D,

You were my first kiss. You were also my last kiss (romantic, I mean. I can't really remember which family member or very close friend I last simply kissed on the cheek in greeting or farewell or congratulations or any of that). That sounds really lame, because we broke up so long ago. You were also my last boyfriend. It was after you broke up with me that things started going a little downhill for me health-wise, although I didn't realize it until just a couple years ago. I just kind of gave up. I don't really think I really had a broken heart. I feel like I got over the initial sting too fast for it to be a legitimately broken heart. Maybe just a slightly cracked heart. Whatever happened, I just seemed to give up after you. It would probably take some painful talking/writing/therapy to really figure out the why and it just doesn't seem to matter as much anymore.

Perhaps I lost my confidence. I was never a huge instigator in romantic or potentially romantic relationships. You kissed me first, not the other way around. I don't remember who instigated the last kiss, but it was probably you too. Don't get me wrong, I've wanted to kiss other guys since you. I just feel stupid starting it. Who knows? Maybe now that I'm getting control of my life again I'll find someone else. Maybe my confidence will grow and I'll instigate something in a relationship for once. Whatever happens, thanks for being my first kiss. I just hope you're not also my last for much longer.

TDTL Day 22: Someone You Want to Give a Second Chance to

2010-07-07T19:25:00.000-07:00

Dear J,

You might not believe this, because I don't think I ever told you, but there was a time when I kind of avoided hanging out with you alone. It wasn't that you weren't a great friend (you were one of my best and I was very sad when you moved away). It wasn't that I didn't like hanging out with you at all. I did. It was just usually better if there were others around.

The reason why this was might seem stupid, so here goes. You always invited yourself over, which was annoying. We always had to play with the dollhouse, which felt silly. We were in middle school. I got tired of playing dollhouse pretty quickly, but you didn't. You always insisted. I don't know why, but you were very demanding about it. Sometimes it seemed like your way or the highway.

But you were a great friend overall, don't get me wrong. I loved having you as a friend. You watched out for me and kept a couple girls in our year from harrassing me. You made me laugh. I loved hanging out with you most of the time. We kept in touch for a while after you moved away. We got back in touch recently and I'm glad for that. I just wish those stupid feelings regarding the dollhouse and the you-inviting-yourself-over didn't always taint the fonder memories of the other times so much.

TDTL Day 21: Someone You Judged By First Impression

2010-07-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Nate,

The very first day of freshman year, in BESS 1 class, I was forced to sit next to you. I didn't really want to at first, mostly because I had no idea who you were (I'd been sitting with someone I knew until her friend convinced me to trade places). And then you started talking to me. I had no idea what to do or say, because 1) again, I didn't know you at all, and 2) frankly, your stories were downright weird. First day of freshman year, third period, and I'm sitting next to this kid who tells me the same two stories over and over again (something about Mary Poppins and something about a skateboard and a truck, if I recall correctly). Honestly, I was a little weirded out. I couldn't wait for the BESS 1 block to end so I could make my escape.

But then, to my dismay, who should show up at our lunch table but the same kid. I didn't know what to do, so I think I smiled and nodded a lot (a gesture I've done around you for many years since). And then Spanish class. And English 1. Apparently I couldn't get away. Ever.

Who would have thought, on that first day of freshman year, that we'd be such great friends ten years later. Neither of us killed each other in high school (although, admittedly, we came close). We survived the BESS 1 trip to the zoo together, band trips and bus break-downs, birthday parties, class projects, many more first days of school. Graduation. You gave me a stupid nickname and convinced our Spanish teacher to call me that one day (Papita Frita...really?!). We went to prom in the same group. Our birthdays are only five days apart.

I guess we were destined to be friends. You certainly make life a little more interesting. I just wonder what all would be different had I managed to escape you that first day, if I'd kept that first impression as my truth. I'll tell you what--I would have missed out on a great friend.

TDTL Day 20: The One That Broke Your Heart the Hardest

2010-07-05T19:24:00.000-07:00

Dear C and E,

It was a long time ago and it probably didn't seem that big of a deal to you guys at the time. It might even sound really petty. Even I have moved on--I got over what you did a long time ago (say, about two months after you did it). But at the time, I was devastated.

You knew I was vulnerable. You knew I counted on both of you for something at least resembling friendship. I was at my all-time emotional low and you two decided to knock me down a few more notches (well, you two and Anne, but I didn't expect much better from her).

It sucks that you didn't seem to think of me highly enough to realize I had feelings. I can't believe how little regard you had for me. I should have just let you guys go. I shouldn't have tried to be your friends again. No friends at all, even no not-really-friends friends, would have been better than the hurt you put me through. Those weeks when you ignored me may well have been the best of those years for me--had I not been so preoccupied by what you had done to deliberately hurt me.

TDTL Day 19: Someone That Pesters Your Mind (Good or Bad)

2010-07-04T21:07:00.001-07:00

Happy 4th of July, all of you Americans! I hope everyone enjoyed spending some time with loved ones, cooking out, fireworks (I saw two different displays over the course of this weekend, so I count it a success), and all those other fun things that scream USA. I probably blew my diet a little. We'll see how bad the damage was come weigh-in on Tuesday, but I'm not holding out much hope...

And now...the letter!

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Dear Characters,

Yeah, that means you. All of you. Chloe and Alethea; Jack, Kim, Clio, Ella, Gloria; Anna and Samantha and Katherine; Lela and Edmund; even those I haven't really interacted much with in a while (yes, that means you, Liz and Morgan and Jackie and Ruth). I know you all need and/or want my attention. I know you all have stories to tell. But you really all need to calm down. I can't concentrate when you're all screaming and carrying on and competing for attention. I'll get to you all. Promise.

Liz, Jackie, Morgan, and Ruth--thank you for being the calmest for the time being. I appreciate it. Thank you for understanding that I'm trying to get your stories out there. Now if you could just stop trying to convince me that another Children of the Rose story is necessary, that would be great. Let someone else have the limelight for a while, huh?

Anna, Samantha, and Katherine--I'm working on it. Thank you for being patient while I try to figure things out. I know you'll still be there when I'm ready and I love you for that. And thanks for reminding me of your presence on a frequent, but not quite irritating, basis. It's actually helpful. Reminds me that you're still there.

Jack, Clio, Kim, Gloria, and Ella--you all just need to chill out. You yell and scream and act like five-year-olds when I'm not giving you all of my attention. Share the spotlight and play nice with the other characters, I beg of you.

Lela and Edmund, thanks for realizing that I can't focus on you just yet. And thanks for gently reminding me you're there from time to time. I look forward to when I can actually spend time with you and your story.

Chloe and Alethea, thanks for coming back. Don't go away again. I need you both and I need you to keep talking. And if you could keep the others in line, that would be great.

Now, can we all play nice?

TDTL Day 18: The Person You Wish You Could Be

2010-07-03T15:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Person I Wish I Could Be,

Why do we spend ninety percent of our time wishing to be someone else? Or something more? Or just different? I'm guilty of it too, and I know this.

I wish I could be skinnier. I wish the thighs would shrink and the belly roll would disappear. Even though I don't like bikinis, I wish I had the option to wear one and not feel like an idiot. I wish losing weight was as easy for me as it seems to be for everyone else.

I wish I could finally get published. I wish to finally see my name on a book spine in a bookstore. I wish that I could know that people I've never met or seen or been introduced to or am connected to in any way were reading a story I'd written.

I wish I was braver. I wish I had the courage to do crazy things like go to NYC on a moment's notice and blow and entire paycheck and sit in the rain outside a ticket office all night to try to score tickets to a favorite musical. I wish I'd had enough confidence to apply for more than one out-of-state job. I wish I wish more comfortable breaking out of my bubble.

I wish I was more organized. My room is a mess. I should really do something about that.

TDTL Day 17: Somone From Your Childhood

2010-07-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Victoria,

You were my first real best friend. I'd had good friends before--ones that I spent a lot of time with, or went to their birthday parties, or had sleepovers with--but you were the first friend that I think I counted as my BEST. We were attached at the hip. For the most part, people didn't see one of us without the other. I remember us only fighting once, and it was a doozy, but that was the only time. We hung out at each others' houses. Our sisters became best friends too.

My world fell apart when you moved away. That may sound melodramatic, and maybe it is, but that's how it felt. Third grade ended, you moved away, and my world ended. You see, everyone else in our grade had formed their little social cliques that year. I'd missed that completely (and didn't even realize I had until a few months later), because it had always been the two of us. So after you moved away and summer ended and fourth grade started, that was when my life started sucking. A lot. Those three years--fourth, fifth, and sixth grades--were the worst of my life, because I had no friends and I despised the only clique that would tolerate me. Sometimes I wonder how everything would have been different if you hadn't left.

I don't blame you. It's not like you had a choice. It's just something I've thought about. And I love the friends I've had since middle school, and the friends I have now. I wouldn't give them up for anything. I may not have had them if you'd stayed. I guess that's how things need to happen. You need to lose one loved thing to gain another.

TDTL Day 16: Someone Not From Your State/Country

2010-07-01T17:53:00.000-07:00

Dear A,

Here's the thing. I know you hate where you live. I know you find it boring and dull and too far away from anything (which isn't true, by the way, because you're probably about eight hours closer to NYC than I am). Seriously, everyone gets that. You never shut up about it. And you know I feel this way, because I've told you all this, but you just don't seem to get it.

Nearly everyone hates something about where they live and/or grew up. It's natural. It's what almost always happens. For example, I've lived in Ohio my whole life (and Columbus all the time I wasn't in college). I hate that the weather is so indecisive--one minute it can be 90 degrees and sunny without a cloud in the sky, the next it can be a torrential rainstorm. I hate that the only big event I ever seem to be near is OSU football games (this isn't really true either, since we do get some decent shows that come through here). It's boring here in Ohio too most of the time, you know. It's not just your state. We always have construction. The traffic sucks (partly because of the construction, partly because no one can drive).

Here's the thing--you can't just always whine. One, because the whining doesn't change anything. Two, because you annoy the crap out of everyone around you. You have two choices, really. You can stop complaining and just get away as soon as you can. Or you can stop complaining and come to terms with it. Either way, you have to stop complaining. I came to terms with Ohio, and found out I actually love it. You can do whatever you want--I really don't care either way. But, please, at the very least, stop making every word that comes out of your mouth a complaint about your home state.

I know you're not going to heed this advice. You never actually listen to any of us. But, still, I had to try.

TDTL Day 15: The Person You Miss the Most

2010-07-01T17:44:00.000-07:00

This is my very first fail. I actually didn't write this letter yesterday. I kind of forgot. In my defense, however, yesterday was my birthday, so I was a little preoccupied. To make up for this, I wrote two letters today. So now I'm back on track.

------------

Dear Kathleen,

It's so weird not seeing or talking to you every day. And, yeah, I gte that it's been over a year since we were last roomies, but it's still strange. For four years, I saw you almost everyday. We had fun as roomies. Our adventures were many. Remember the box wall at 3am during finals? Remember the Founders Hall murder game and the all-night finals week fire drill of Brookhart fame? Our numerous roadtrips to Cleveland for various theatrical events? Or how about when we filled the entire apartment with smoke when we failed epically at making sweet potato fries? Good times.

We've always joked that we have a very Elphaba-Galinda friendship and we were very much like them as roommates. And I've always realized how incredibly nerdy that sounds, but it's true. I guess at this point, then, we're at the post-Defying-Gravity bit of the story. We'll see each other again, but we're no longer seeing each other 24/7. We've said our goodbyes for now. (I'd say we were after the For Good bit, but neither one of us is about to, you know, melt. But whatever.)

I really miss you and we need to talk more. Our conversations have been so few and far between lately. We need to work on that.

TDTL Day 14: Someone You've Drifted Away From

2010-06-29T19:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Katie,

We may not have known each other terribly long, but I felt like it was a longer friendship than it was. I miss talking to you all the time, through texting and online and Skype. I always enjoyed our conversations. I liked trying to work on that musical with you and B. I wish that hadn't stopped. That was fun.

What happened? After the Louisville trip, it was like you retreated as fast as you could. I don't really know what happened in the fall-out between you and B after I left. All I know is that you seemed pressured to choose between groups of friends. You started pulling away after that weekend. And then you started school and I never heard from you after that. We haven't talked in a year and I don't know what happened. I hope everything's okay and I'm sorry if I did something to upset you. It hurts that we've lost touch. It hurts more that you didn't choose me.

TDTL Day 13: Someone You Wish Could Forgive You

2010-06-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Person I Wish Could Forgive Me,

I don't know who you are. I can't place who you are. I can't see your face. I wish I could, because then I could address this directly to you.

For whatever I did to hurt you, I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure that whatever I did, I did it unintentionally. I don't like hurting people and I hate the feeling that I may have hurt someone accidentally and can't remember. This isn't an insult. This isn't saying that you're not worth remembering. This is saying that I'm human and make mistakes and I have a bad memory sometimes. I don't know who is holding resentment against me for something I did, but that doesn't make the transgression any less painful. Whatever I did.

I'm sorry for what I did and I'm sorry I can't remember. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me.

TDTL Day 12: The Person You Hate the Most/Caused You the Most Pain

2010-06-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Anne,

Don't think I've forgotten. I may not have seen you since fifth grade, but don't think I've forgotten the two years of being your "friend." I haven't forgotten the torment, the expectations, the fact that you were only truly kind when absolutely no one else was around or it benefited you the most. I haven't forgotten how you deliberately left me out of things. This may all sound petty, but to a kid with no friends to speak of, it hurt. I still remember that pain. I probably always will.

But, somehow, I should also thank you. If it wasn't for the way you treated me, I may not have come to love writing in the deep way I do today. Your leaving me out meant I spent my days alone writing. The pain you caused me fueled pain I could use to understand my characters. I can still call on that pain.

I don't know why you acted like that toward me. I can't imagine what thrill you got out of tormenting me. So thanks for my writing, but I don't understand. I'm not sorry you moved away. I'm not sorry I've never seen you since.

Don't think I forget.

TDTL Day 11: A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To

2010-06-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Jennifer,

This may seem strange since you passed so long ago when I was so young. Fifteen years is a long time and seven-years-old was too young for me to understand. Ten-years-old was too young for you to go. That's about all I understood--you were gone and you were too young to do so. I couldn't really cry because you were the first person I knew who died so suddenly. And you were so close to my own age. I couldn't wrap my head around all that.

I'm sorry I didn't go to your funeral. I really wish I had, because that whole bit just feels like this giant open ending to me now. I can't really explain it. I just know that I regret not really getting to say goodbye.

You were one of the nicest people I ever knew. You would have made a great mother one day. You were always taking care of Amy, Laura, and me when the family was all together. You tried to teach me to boogie board once in Nags Head. That was the difficult since I didn't really know how to swim very well. So you tried to help teach me to swim. That didn't work so well either, but I appreciated to effort. It's so unfair that you never had the chance to grow up, that the world never got to fully experience you.

I'd always felt a little connected to you (more than the whole cousin thing, I mean) because we shared a middle name. That seemed special to me and I liked it. I still like it. My middle name is even more special to me now, because it still connects us. That might sound weird, but it's true. Speaking of connections, did you know that on the day you died I got in a playground accident? My mouth hit another kid's head. My gum started bleeding and I had to be rushed to the dentist. It was the only time I ever had to leave school because of an emergency like that. Weird, right?

I miss you. I love you.

TDTL Day 10: Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like

2010-06-25T18:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Amanda,

I can't believe how much we don't talk anymore. We used to be attached at the hip. We were close as could be from the time we were in seventh grade. I wish we could be close like that again. I wish we could go back to before we grew apart. I wish I could know why we grew apart.

It's like as soon as we hit senior year of college, we were traveling on two different halves of the same group of friends. I don't know how that happened, since we were all one group. We all got along. It wasn't like there was a fight or anything. I wish that weird divide had never happened. I miss our stupid adventures and laughs and conversations. I miss our time spent in marching band and just hanging out.

I wish you would join in with the group here more. I wish you were easier to get in touch with and a little less (probably only seemingly) antisocial. You only live about two seconds away, it shouldn't be this hard for us to stay in touch. I wish we could go back to the way things were before. I miss talking to you all the time.

Why did we have to not only grow up but also somehow grow apart?

TDTL Day 9: Someone You Wish You Could Meet

2010-06-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

Please don't judge my nerdiness.

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Dear JKR,

This is going to sound unbelievably nerdy, but here it goes. I've very much admired you since I was about 13 years old and fell in love with your book and your own story. I don't mean to sound like yet another obnoxious fan, but it's true. Your story inspires me (and inspired me back when I first heard it at thirteen and was still trying to find my writing confidence) and Harry Potter moves me.

I have a confession--I never truly wanted to read your Harry Potter books. Sad, but true. I was annoyed into picking up the first one by my friends who just wouldn't shut up about the series. I started reading the first book expecting to hate it. I fully planned on getting halfway through it and giving up, proving my friends wrong. I had never liked fantasy and I told myself I never would. It just wasn't for me. Imaginary locations and unearthly magic and creatures that you'd never see in the "real world?" No, thanks. The only problem was...well...I couldn't quite put Sorcerer's Stone down. I breezed through the halfway mark and kept going. Next thing I knew, I was reading Chamber of Secrets. Within a month or so, I was finishing Goblet of Fire (at that time, only the first four books had come out). I was addicted. I was now joining my friends in book discussions and theorizing. I went to the midnight releases of the final three books. I saw all the movies within their first day (it would have been the midnight releases of all of those too, but pesky high school got in the way). I read Deathly Hallows in 24 hours. I've read the entire series, beginning to end, straight through, twice in one year. I get lost in the magic. I become emotionally invested and laugh out loud and cry.

I didn't want to read the books because my friends wouldn't shut up about them, but now I can't shut up about them either. Go figure.

So thanks. Thanks for creating this amazing world and then sharing it with all of us. Thanks for introducing me to the fantasy genre (I'm hooked now, by the way, and I probably wouldn't have ever tried it otherwise). Thanks for making me believe anything is possible, in the real world and the writing world. It's amazing what all you've done.

TDTL Day 8: Your Favorite Internet Friend

2010-06-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

Before I share today's letter, I just want to explain that the fact that I address it to someone with a letter for her name doesn't mean I want her identity to be unknown, like it's been in letters past (and letters future, really, because this is the only person this would apply to). I literally call this person B. She calls me M. It's a joke because we have the same first name and confuse our mutual friends...so we started being referred to by our last initials. Just wanted to throw that out there for your own amusement/information.

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Dear B,

What can I say? Way back when we started talking on IMMB (why did the twelve-year-olds with a serious lack of grammar skills have to take it over), who would have thought we'd still be this close, what, three years down the road? You're completely crazy, but I would have it no other way. You make me smile and your texts and Facebook comments frequently make my day.

I'm truly blessed to have you as a friend (and a brain twin). You sometimes understand me more than others (that whole "brain twin" thing again, you know). You're someone I can completely geek out about Broadway-ness and lament the collective difficulties of the "real world" with. Those few months we spent trying to write and compose a musical along with Katie were months that I keep close to my heart and smile when I think back on them. Sure, that ended in epic fail, but it was a fun time nonetheless. Chaotic Skype chats, anyone? I also enjoyed our short trip to Louisville to see Spring Awakening. I still have the bag you made me hanging in a place of honor in my closet (where a small collection of bags and such hang out). Someday, you'll actually get me to NYC to see Broadway and Times Square and all that first hand.

You're awesome. You're funny. You make me smile. You're a fellow ERIN, for crying out loud! I absolutely love having you as a friend!

TDTL Day 7: A Stranger

2010-06-22T17:22:00.000-07:00

Here's my latest fail: day SIX was supposed to be a letter to a stranger and TODAY was supposed to be a letter to the ex-boyfriend/love/crush. I read a line down yesterday when I was getting ready to write yesterday's letter and, thus, skipping a day ahead in the prompts. So today I'm playing time machine and taking it back to what I was supposed to write about yesterday.

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Dear Stranger,

I've passed you on the street or in an aisle at Walmart or in the office cafeteria. I may have seen you at the coffee shop or the bookstore or the library. I may even have honked at you if you were dawdling at an intersection (sorry about that, by the way, but my tolerance isn't always very high regarding my fellow drivers).

Regardless of who you are or where our paths crossed, I inevitably noticed you in some way. You may have been saying something I thought would make clever dialogue. Maybe your behaviors inspired me to create a new character. Perhaps you were just doing something really weird like wearing a pair of fairy wings and/or a tutu in a coffee shop that made me wonder why someone would actually go out in public on a day nowhere near Halloween wearing fairy wings and/or a tutu. My brain takes in your habits and your words and all those other bits you might think no passer-by would care to notice and stores it to break out in a moment's notice for a character or a scene or a whole story. I don't do this on purpose. Just don't be surprised if we have an encounter for all of thirty seconds and down the road you recognize a bit of yourself in one of my novels.

TDTL Day 6: Your Ex-Boyfriend/Love/Crush

2010-06-21T19:41:00.000-07:00

Dear A,

You were my first boyfriend, as much as middle schoolers can have a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. You danced with me once at a school dance because my friends asked you to and I have the feeling you felt sorry for me. That may even be why you asked me out in the first place--because you felt sorry for me. Whatever. Either way, I still consider you my first boyfriend.

Our relationship mostly consisted of leaving notes for each other in our mailboxes and hanging out with your friends in your backyard. Not very romantic, but I think I was so completely thrilled that someone could actually like me in "that way" that it didn't even matter that much. I looked forward to seeing you or to reading your notes. But my heart was never fully into it, I think, nor do I think yours was either. This was just a relationship between two kids in middle school. While it felt real at the time (mostly because I had nothing to which to compare it), in retrospect, it wasn't much. I think that's why when you broke up with me after only a couple months, I wasn't terribly upset. I was sad, of course, but I later learned it wasn't truly a broken heart. Broken hearts hurt for longer than I hurt for you.

I'm glad we became friends in high school. I still cherish the memories of the lunches we spent in the same group. We were always more friends material than dating material, and I think you probably knew that too.

Regardless, thanks for being my first boyfriend. I'm sure you're better at it now.

TDTL Day 5: Your Dreams

2010-06-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Dreams,

People have frequently told me that I have a large imagination, but the truth is most of that time it's been dreaming, in one way or another. For that I have to thank you, because you are the one thing that has always been completely present. You carried me through the years of friendless misery by giving me imaginary friends. You inspired me to work harder. You keep me awake at night, filling my head with story ideas. It's because of you that I know what I'm meant to do and am excited to do it. I can't thank you enough for all you've given me. You've given me hope when I felt I had none. You keep me going when I start to get discouraged. You amuse me when I'm bored. You give me things to look forward to and goals to achieve. Don't ever leave me.

TDTL Day 4: Your Sibling

2010-06-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Laura,

I know we don't always get along. In fact, there have been many times over the years that I've wanted nothing more than to give you a sharp kick to the shin (and I have a feeling the urge was mutual). The truth is, most of the time, I would do anything for you. That's what sisters are for.

It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that you're going to be off to college in the fall. It just doesn't feel like you should be old enough to do that yet. I think college is going to be good for you. It will challenge you far more than high school (or anything else, for that matter) was ever able to do. And here's my biggest suggestion to you: have fun. YOu sometimes get so incredibly wrapped up in being perfect (which is annoying as hell, by the way) that I think you sometimes forget to enjoy the whole ride. If I find out you're spending every free minute at ONU in a practice room, I might have to drive up there myself and beat you over the head with your own trumpet. I know you have to practice, but please, for all that's good in the world, spend at least a little time away from the trumpet. Join a club. Make new friends. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. And don't worry yourself into sickness if you find some classes in college are harder than what you did in high school. It happens. It's good for the humility. It's okay to struggle from time to time. It's okay to not be perfect all the time. You're going to need to grasp that concept sooner or later.

I love you dearly and hope the years ahead of you are filled with excitement and happiness and adventures. Make memories.

TDTL Day 3: Your Parents

2010-06-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said one of the reasons I wouldn't be able to share a letter on here the night I wrote it might be because the power went out? Guess what happened last night, just as I was about to publish this post to my blog. Figures. But I swear I wrote this letter yesterday...

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Dear Mom and Dad,

There are absolutely no words to explain how much you mean to me, but I'm going to try. I honestly believe you're the best parents someone could hope for...and that's not just because I'm more than a little biased.

Thank you for believing in me, even when I didn't always reach what may have been your expectations. Even when I wasn't a straight-A student in high school. Even when I struggled to regain--and keep--my college scholarship. You believed I could succeed and knew I would be happy with however I got there.

Thank you for encouraging me to dream. You've never once said a dream of mine was too big. You didn't smirk when I decided to study Creative Writing. You've always let me dream big and do what makes me happiest.

Thank you for letting me be my own person. I know our views on various issues differ, sometimes dramatically, but you've let me discover what I believe in, instead of trying to make me think only how and what you think. You don't judge me negatively because I chose to be the black sheep and follow more liberal views. You let me say what I think.

And, of course, thank you for reading me bedtime stories. Thank you for the hours spent at the library and for keeping me room stocked with books of all kinds. Thank you for letting my imagination run haywire and listening to my long-winded tales before I was old enough to write them down (and since then too, for that matter). Thank you for putting up with my writerly mood swings and slightly irrational behavior. Thank you for not judging me too much when I ask to see something like the medical dictionary for a scene I'm writing.

But most of all, thanks for loving me for me.

TDTL Day Two: Your Crush

2010-06-17T17:41:00.001-07:00

FYI...in the case of some of these letters, I may not want to reveal to whom I'm actually writing. In this case, I'll just use first initials.

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Dear J,

I've liked you for several years now, but I'm fairly sure you have absolutely no idea. I don't feel like I've been subtle. I've even stepped out of my comfort zone and asked you to events, but I still don't think you get it. I'm sorry for this and I'm sorry if I've only been obnoxious. I've never been good at expressing those particular feelings, because they make me feel nervous and stupid. And I'm painfully old-fashioned when it comes to relationships, meaning that I have an irrational fear of making the first move.

Here's the truth: You make me smile. You make me laugh. When we talk, I feel like the prettiest girl in the room. I always love seeing you. I adore your hugs. I crave your attention. If I know we'll be at the same place or event, I look forward to talking with you. You give me butterflies.

I'm nearly 23 years old, but I always feel like a giggly teenager when you're around.

Why do you do that to me?

I wish I had the courage to share my feelings with you. I wish you knew the truth. I wish I could be more than that girl you've known for so many years. I wish you could see me more than a sister or a friend or whatever it is you see me as.

I wish you could know how I feel about you.

Until then, or until I can move on, I'll just have to satisfy myself with hugs when we see each other and poke wars on Facebook.

TDTL Day One: Your Best Friend

2010-06-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

First day of Thirty Days, Thirty Letters (or...TDTL as I'm abbreviating it on the post titles, since it would be too long of a title otherwise)! I want to preface this letter with saying that I have many best friends and I love them all dearly, but I didn't want to write ten or twelve different letters today. So I went with the best friend I've known the longest, the one with whom I have the most history. Please feel no offense if I didn't write to you...it doesn't mean you're NOT one of my best friends...it just means you haven't known me for eighteen years (I know you're relieved).

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Dear Tracy,

I've known you so long that I can't even recall the day we met. I know it was probably the very first day of kindergarten. Looking back across nearly, what, eighteen years, it amazes me how far we've come. We started out as classmates and acquaintances. We were soon fellow Girl Scouts in Troop 1203 (ah, good times), bonded together in the troop by our similar lack of popularity. From there we went to friends, to fellow bandies, to best friends, to nearly sisters. To inseparable.

The adventures we've had are many. The laughs we've had are innumerable. I truly don't know what my life would be like if you weren't in it. Girl Scouts was full of fond times and cherished memories--Indianapolis, COSI camp-ins, Thinking Days, day camps, camporees, and our many luxurious mid-winter mother/daughter lodge camping trips. Marching band was the same way--no busses to get to States, marching in a foot of mud, football games, contests, freezing rain, leadership retreat forts, Wendy's and Steak & Shake outings, screaming obnoxious cheers until we were hoarse.

You're the friend I've known the longest and who knows me best. You're the one who tolerates all aspects of my nerdiness and brings me back to Earth easiest. We laugh. We cry. We've fought. We don't always see eye-to-eye. But I know that, no matter what, you'll always be there, because you've always been there. I can ask for nothing greater.

You've changed me "for good."

Thank you for that.

Thirty Days, Thirty Letters Challenge

2010-06-16T16:29:00.001-07:00

I originally heard about this over on Michelle Zink's blog, because one of my fellow regular participants in Thursday Night Write is doing this on her blog. Confused yet?

Here's how it works. Thirty days. Thirty letters. The prompts are already set (the full list can be seen on Michelle's blog, but I'll put it here too so you can follow along). The goal is to write one letter each day and not stray from the original prompts. Which, I'll admit, is going to be hard. But I'm going to try my best. If nothing else, this will give me a chance to explore my own relationships and my own demons and memories...all of which are important to the stories I'm trying to write right now.

Excited? Yeah, me too.

I'll post the letters here as I finish them. I'm actually handwriting them in a journal of mine, so even if I miss a day of posting here it doesn't mean the letter never got WRITTEN. More than likely I got distracted by something shiny before I got the chance to post it here at night. Or there was another storm and I had to turn off my computer. Those are the two most likely reasons why I might have to miss sharing a letter here one night. But, never fear, if I miss a night of sharing the letters here...I'll simply share two letters here the next day. And I'll be honest with you too. If a letter doesn't get shared on here because I'm a lazy bum and didn't write one that day...I'll let you know.

Here's the list of themes for each day, in case you want to follow along or participate too:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favourite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

And...here we go!

Oh, the failure of posting here...

2010-04-22T17:52:00.000-07:00

Again, I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in, well...over a month. I fail. I embrace it. I'm also very tired lately with the whole full time job thing dangling over my head. Who knew that staring at a computer and every so often entering a bunch of numbers could make you so tired (and then the geek in me thinks about LOST and all is right with the world).

Agent search. It's still going. I've sent out...50 queries now? I think? It's been going slower over the last couple months, because of work and my low energy level most days, but every so often I get a second wind. I've gotten something around 20 rejections. Great feelings involved in that. Thank god for ONU's English Department giving me a thick skin.

Novel writing. Also going. The Boxes of Pandora is currently at a pause, seeing as how my characters and I are in a stalemate. I'll win. I always do. But for now they're putting up quite the fight to NOT work well with me and this is causing me to spend much time staring at the last page in that manuscript going "for the love of all things good in the world, can we finish a chapter?!" Ship of Dreams is also at a stalemate but for a whole different reason involving research, comfort levels, and my extreme paranoia of getting something wrong. I'm working on it, though. It's constantly on my mind. Out of my projects, The Memory Game is going best. My characters are still in that happy place where they haven't quite started resenting me yet, so all is puffy clouds and rainbows right now.

Sorry that this was a really abbreviated, somewhat boring post. But now it's time for me to get OFF the internet and have another go at whipping my Pandora characters into submission.

Agent search, writing with a job, and WIPs

2010-03-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

Long time, no post! Yes, I fail miserably. But in my defense...I started a full-time temp job around the time of my last post. I've only just started figuring out the whole writer-with-a-day-job thing a couple weeks ago. And even then, all my writing energy has been going toward my freelance theatre writing job (on Examiner.com...I'm the Columbus Theater Examiner) and my WIPs (more on that later). But I haven't forgotten you guys and now I'm here to update! Woo-hoo!

So...agent search. Nothing too exciting since my post about the partial. I haven't heard back yet on that, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for good news. My new totals are...30 queries sent out...eight replies (7 rejections, 1 partial)...2 closed. I'm holding out hope and still have a TON of agents still to query, so I'm not going to let the rejections get me down! And, as a boost to my self-confidence, my younger sister just finished reading the current draft of "Nor the Battle" and told me that she really liked it. I figure that's good news, especially since this is just the latest of generally good feedback I've been getting from my readers.

I'm keeping myself plenty busy with other WIPs, though...to the extent of insanity. I can't seem to stop with coming up with ideas I love. As of today, I have three stories I'm going to try to work on...one that I'm focusing 80% of my attention on, the other two are just to keep me sane. Three different genres. And I haven't even started edits on "Child of Roses" yet. Awesome.

Here are my current WIPs, just for kicks and your own info, in case you were dying of curiosity.

Boxes of Pandora: (fantasy) In theory, this is the first in a planned trilogy. Think...Narnia meets Greek mythology. And friends. And drama. Yeah, we'll go with that. It's my first time seriously trying my hand at fantasy and it's the project I'm focusing most of my attention on. The biggest reason I have the other two projects is so I can go and hide with them when THIS project starts intimidating me.

Ship of Dreams: (historical fiction) I've decided to go back to my historical fiction roots, because I used to write a lot of historical fiction back when I first fell in love with writing. Which is strange, really, because I've never really liked history itself. I've just found certain events or time periods fascinating. And Titanic was an event I found interesting back in elementary school. I found it so interesting that I read as many books (fiction and non-fiction) as I could get my little hands on. I could rattle off any obscure fact at the drop of a hat. And now I'm trying again, on a more serious level than I used to write back in the day. The story of Titanic will be told by three points-of-view, one each in each class. And to make life more exciting for me, the Titanic exhibit is returning to COSI Columbus (the local science center) at the end of this month for quite a while and I'm going to use it for research. Woot!

And, my most recent addition...as in...I started writing it today at lunch...
The Memory Game: (general YA fiction) This is my comfort novel for now. It's a genre I'm more familiar with, so this is where I'll probably run to to hide the most. It's the story of a girl who, for a reason I'm not going to reveal right now, can't remember anything before she was seven. And so she needs to try to recover those memories and come to terms with the truth of her past. I'm still working on the details (obviously), but there you are.

Okay, that was a really long post. Whew.

First Partial!

2010-02-11T17:48:00.000-08:00

Quick post to share this news, because Grey's Anatomy will be starting soon and I always take my computer downstairs to write while I watch it. (No, don't bother asking why...it's just something I started doing over the summer.)

I got my first partial request from an agent on Tuesday! It was refreshing to receive word that wasn't a rejection. Now I just have to find the time (and money) to get the partial shipped (yay snail mail) and I'll be good to go. I still can't believe that someone actually asked to see part of my manuscript. It's a great feeling!

Agent Search: Week 2

2010-02-07T17:15:00.000-08:00

It's hard for me to believe that I've been querying agents for two weeks. It doesn't feel like two weeks. It feels like much longer.

My new totals are 17 queries sent out, 2 rejections received. That's all the response I've gotten so far, so I'm sorry that I don't have anything more exciting to share with you this week. Who knows...maybe I'll have something more exciting to share soon...

Let's see...what else is going on? It snowed about 14 inches over this weekend, so I've pretty much been spending every minute indoors (except for this morning, when I had to go down to church to play handbells for BOTH morning services). I took a nap this afternoon, so that was exciting. Other than that, I've been working hard on my fantasy trilogy concept and reading lots of books.

This coming week will be quite eventful for me. Tomorrow (Monday) marks the end of the liquids-only part of my diet. I've been doing that part for five months (ugh). Doctor monitored, of course. Keep that in mind--if you ever want to do one of these intense diets like liquids-only, make sure you do it through a doctor to stay healthy! So tomorrow I'll finally get to eat normal food again (hooray!). And on Tuesday I get to start my shiny new full-time day job as a temp at a Nationwide office. I'm looking forward to having money again and *gasp* being a grown up. :)

Lesson (re-)learned the hard way

2010-02-01T11:57:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me probably knows that I rarely go anywhere without a book or a journal. Sometimes it's one or the other, but usually it's both. I even invested in a new purse over the summer just so I could more effectively carry books and journals with me everywhere I go. I do this because 1) I never know when an idea will strike me that I have to write down and 2) I never know when I'll have downtime and wish that I had something to read.

Like I said, 99% of the time I have a book or journal with me. The other 1% of the time happens rarely and usually either happens by accident or because I'm only going on a short trip where I really don't think I'll be bored enough to read a book or have the opportunity to write down any ideas. One of these rare moments happened last weekend. After that experience, you can pretty much guarentee I won't make the mistake again.

My friend Tracy and I went to Curves on Saturday morning. Since it was my turn to drive and we pretty much leave as soon as the workout is over, I didn't really feel like lugging my big bag with me that morning. I usually do, but that morning I didn't. So, after a few minutes of internal conflict, I decided to leave the book and journal behind. BIG MISTAKE.

We finished our workout, left Curves, and got in the car. Put the key in the ignition and...nothing. Take a deep breath, try again. Nothing. Just this aggravating chattering noise coming from my engine like it was trying REALLY hard to turn over. I tried six times (at least) and then called my dad. My parents were at the grocery store, they told me to try the ignition again in five minutes and then call them back. Five minutes later...the stupid engine is still chattering. I call my parents and then I call AAA.

AAA tells me it could take up to 75 minutes for someone to get to where I am.

Cue me kicking myself for leaving my books and journals at home.

Tracy and I sat in that stupid car for forty minutes before my dad was able to show up. Of course, because this is how my life works, he got my stupid car to start on the first try.

During those forty minutes, the only thing I could think about was how much I wished I had my book or my journal. You can be sure I haven't gone anywhere without them since Saturday.

(And, in case you're wondering, my car is fine. It was a faulty battery, which has since been replaced, so hopefully I won't have to deal with anymore car issues for a while.)

Agent Search: Week 1

2010-01-30T20:59:00.000-08:00

Well, friends, here we are at the end of week one of my agent search. Granted...there's still technically Sunday, but things have finally stopped being quite as tedious and un-blog worthy as they were an hour ago (yes, things changed just that fast).

This week, counting tonight, I sent out 11 queries to various agents. The official start date was January 26. I received my first response an hour ago. It was a form rejection from a query I sent out two days ago. While the rejection hurts, I still remember that I have 10 other queries out right now, plus a whole slew of ones I'm planning on sending throughout the coming weeks, months, etc. Also, I'm happy that I at least got some response, instead of being ignored.

When I haven't been researching agents, making lists, and sending out queries, I've been working on my other writing projects. I have a fantasy trilogy I'm trying to get started (slow going) and I'm also trying my hand once more at historical fiction with a novel about Titanic, an event I was completely fascinated by when I was in late elementary school. It's one of those things that I haven't fully grown out of and I'm still fascinated by it and the drama that surrounded it. I can't help it, really. So I've been juggling those two projects for the time being.

On a Roll...

2010-01-18T22:00:00.000-08:00

...And, no, the answer is not "butter". Thanks.

The reason I'm on a roll is because (drum roll, please) I finished writing another novel. That's right, friends...the first draft of "Child of Roses" has been completed! Overall, I'm pretty happy with how the entire thing turned out. Even the epilogue turned out better than I'd hoped. I did, however, have significant trouble finding that one perfect ending sentence. This resulted in me letting my main character ramble on for a paragraph and saying some things that probably didn't need to be said. Whatever. That's what revisions are for.

Now, you ask...what am I working on? Allow me to share that with you. It's finally come time when I feel ready to begin querying agents. I have a handful of (relatively small) things to fix in "Nor the Battle" before I go and embarrass myself (I'm a big fan of first impressions, don't judge). Once I get those little things fixed, I'll start. I already have something at least resembling a query letter...and I need to do a synopsis. Seriously, I know I've drawn out this step, but that's because it terrifies me. I can feel it though...it's time. I can't hide from this forever.

In the meantime, I always need to be writing SOMETHING. That something is me trying my hands at a YA fantasy trilogy. That's right. I'm trying, not only fantasy, but a trilogy. And I thought it was a good idea to give myself 5 different protagonists, who each get the chance to tell the story from their own point of view. Crazy? Probably...I'm more convinced on this fact the further I get in the process for this new project. But I think it's going to be fun. And it's something I can keep my mind on when revisions on "Nor the Battle" start getting to me.

So that's the world right now for me. Keep checking back, and I'll keep you up-to-date on the agent search!

Lists and Accomplishments

2010-01-11T09:19:00.001-08:00

In case you're wondering, I finished that chapter I was dreading last night. It took me disconnecting from the internet for a few hours to get anything accomplished. At one point, my younger sister asked how things were going. The conversation went something like this:

Laura: Having fun?
Me: Not really...
Laura: You don't like writing your novel?
Me: I just don't like writing this chapter.
Laura: Maybe if you turned off the TV...
Me: Then I'd play Solitare instead.
Laura: You're weird.

Yup, that's pretty much the relationship between Laura and me.

So that's my accomplishment--finishing that chapter. Things are going to get so much better to write from this point onward, I'm sure of it.

Now you might be wondering...but what about the lists you mention in the entry title? That answer is quite simple. I'm compiling a list of literary agents to start querying. I hope to do that soon. I know "soon" is a very vague time-frame, but right now "soon" is about all I can work with. I'm also trying to find a full-time job and I'm working on losing weight, so my attention span for finding a firm time-frame for the agent hunt isn't so great. So, "soon" it is.