Technology and why I hate it

Life has been a little interesting around here over the last week. On the positive side...I managed to finish three chapters, which is pretty remarkable for me lately. And I finally broke 100 single-spaced pages. Took two and a half years, but that made me pretty happy.

On the down side...my computer died yesterday. It just up and died on me, which annoyed me to no end. Okay...so I don't really know that it legit DIED, but I do know that it will no longer turn on for me without giving me a fantasic Blue Screen of Death. Oh, how I loathe the BSD. This happened yesterday morning. After I spent a good half hour fighting with my laptop and trying with every fiber of my being to get it to TURN ON, I finally gave up. I called computer dude (that's how I refer to him...my mom calls him the computer guru...his real name is Bill) who has fixed my parents' desktop computer on numerous occasions recently, found out he deals with laptops, and was told to bring it over. So I did...frantically. I was in complete frantics all morning because, oh, yeah, I haven't really backed up much on that piece of crap. FORTUNATELY, I have probably 95% of my digital pictures backed up and (most importantly) I have my novel backed up in, now, four places. Those would have been the things I would be stressing out about the most. I'm hoping against hope I can get the rest of my documents back...and my iTunes music...but the novel and the pictures would have made me devestated if I lost (especially the novel).

Anyway, Dude told me that it could be anything that's causing the BSD and he would have to diagnose it first. He said it could be merely a hardware/software issue, something could need updated, it could be a virus, ooooor I might need a new hard drive. I'm hoping it's a quick, easy, cheap fix that doesn't make me lose anything...or at least not much. I guess I should be impressed that I've had my laptop for four years and it's only NOW causing me to take it to the shop.

Ah, technology. It's really good at biting me in the butt.

Every Ending is a New Beginning

Cheesy title, I know. But just go with it...it'll make sense, I swear.

Tonight, I'm proud to say that I finished another chapter (much faster than usual, so that's probably a good sign). I was sitting on the couch with Mom, watching something on the Food Network and after a short break I turned back to my laptop to start Chapter Fourteen. I stared at my outline, read the couple sentences I had written down regarding Chapter Fourteen's events about a million times, stared at my computer, stared at my outline again...this went on for several minutes. And after groaning, and then explaining my reason for groaning to Mom, I realized something. Something I've known for a while, but just haven't thought of that much...

I hate starting new chapters.

I love it too, but I REALLY hate starting new chapters. I love the feeling of moving forward...but I still hate starting new chapters. The reason for this is...I do this ritual every time. Fourteen times (well, fifteen, because of the prologue) during the course of writing this novel, I have spent a loooooooong time trying to start a new chapter. I figured out something tonight, though. It's because each chapter is like its own story. And I've heard several times that the hardest part of writing is getting started (isn't that the truth). So I finish a chapter...and then I turn to start a new one...and even though I know exactly what's going to happen, I never have any idea how to start the story. So I sit there for minutes upon minutes upon minutes, staring at my outline and computer screen, willing my mind to form some opening that doesn't sound completely stupid, something I haven't already used before in the story, something that can get me going.

And then I find that opening. As soon as that happens, it's all golden. For the most part, as soon as that happens, the chapter starts taking form and I know (more or less) exactly how I want to say what I've chosen to occur in the chapter. Yes, there are still rough spots...moments in the chapter when I'm not sure how to get to the next part...but nothing is as bad as when I'm first starting. So I write and write until I've told that chapter's story. I bring it to a close. I celebrate a little--do a little dance, listen to a favorite song, treat myself to a snack. And then I type those fateful words: CHAPTER [INSERT NUMBER HERE]. I feel pretty good about myself...until I pick up that outline and read those few sentences. The whole cycle starts over again and I have to scour my brain for words I haven't used...for something that's not cheesy. But I keep going.

By the end of writing this first draft, I'll have gone through this ritual twenty-six times, assuming all goes as planned. Once I finish, I'll probably miss the cycle...I'll probably miss getting frustrated by opening a new chapter. But then it'll be time to come up with the next novel idea...and the cycle will pick up again with a new story, new outline, new characters. The cycle will never end, not as long as I keep writing. And I plan to write for a long time.

I just spent another afternoon at Urban Coffee, but this time I was by myself. Emmy is working/out of town this week, so I decided that I needed to get out of the house to write. I wrote for a good three hours, researched Bible verses for another hour. I've discovered over the last few weeks that I am most productive when I'm completely away from the house. Yes, I can disconnect my computer from the internet and sit outside...and that works for an hour or two before I get distracted again...or it gets too dark...or my computer battery runs low. But getting out of the house, for some reason, I can't get as distracted.

I finished another chapter today. I've gotten to the point where I'm finishing about a chapter a week. For now, this is satisfactory to me...soon, I'll be aiming to finish two chapters a week. It's like conditioning myself for a race. I have to work up to the point of writing during more hours of the day. And for the first time in my life, I can focus on writing THIS novel...this ONE novel. I don't have to be working on another novel for one of my classes...or a short story...or any other piece. I can focus on "Nor the Battle" and I intend to not start another story until I have this one finished.

Issues...

My ears hurt from the ear buds I'm wearing. My butt hurts from the hard bench I've been sitting on for four hours. My fingers hurt from typing constantly. It's too hot in here all of a sudden. My computer has completely frozen on me once today, plus only partially freezing a handfull of other times during my time sitting here--thus, I hate my computer currently. My brain is drained...I'm exhausted...and I finished my Iced Chocolate Covered Strawberry Mocha at least three hours ago.

But I finished another chapter today during Emmy's and my writing date for the week. And that makes it all worth it.

Writing Dates

I love having friends near me that are as into writing as I am. One of my good friends, Emmy, and I have decided to start a new "thing" for the two of us. Every week, we're having a writing date. We just had our first one this past Friday. We basically went to Urban Coffee, a local coffee shop, got some coffee (well, I got a chai, but whatever), found a table with an outlet, and settled down to write on our laptops. It was nice, because we both had to write...we could bounce ideas off each other, hold each other accountable. We stayed there for four hours! I got about five pages written, which was VERY exciting.

When I told my mom about Emmy's and my plan, she asked me how that would work. "Isn't writing a personal thing?" she asked me. And, yes, while writing is a personal thing, it's also nice to go somewhere and write with someone. I had a sounding board RIGHT THERE for those four hours. I had someone to complain to if my story started going somewhere I didn't want it to go...Emmy had someone to complain to that she felt her story was getting repetitive. We could give each other advice, try to keep each other from getting distracted. And even better--it was a whole four hours that I had set aside JUST for writing. Because I had someone to write with, I couldn't back out of it or change my mind.

Character Rebellion?

Is it possible for characters to rebel? I was thinking about this when I was writing last (which, granted, was a while ago...getting ready for the graduation party and trying to get scrapbooks done suddenly took over my life) and I'm putting my characters for "Nor the Battle to the Strong" through a whole lot of crap. And it's just going to get worse. The torment I have planned for them, particularly Liz, is kind of ridiculous--but so necessary for the story. Anyway, I got to thinking...since characters eventually take over the story, can't they rebel too? I mean I'm pretty stubborn, so I don't think my characters could win that battle, but I have gotten way past the point when my characters are acting on their own accord. They say things I never thought they'd say...argue about things I never planned them to argue about. I know other writers understand this phenomenon that I'm talking about.

It's funny writing for Liz. Because my story takes place in two different years, fifteen years apart, when Liz is normal in one section, she's angsty in another...and then it switches. She's suddenly gotten really quiet and submissive in the "past" portions of the story...and she's gotten increasingly frustrated, scared, and angry in the "present" portions. It's crazy. I can't control her anymore. I'm going to be really interested to see how she reacts when I throw the worst of the crap at her in another handful of chapters. It's still a while away, but it's building up and in some way I'm really looking forward to writing that part of the novel.

Bookstores

There is nothing more motivational for me than browsing at a bookstore...or a library. There's just something about seeing all those books, written by all those authors, that makes me want even more to be part of it. When I hold a book in my hands and read the back cover synopsis, there's something that makes me think that someday, perhaps someone will be doing the same thing with one of my books. Even if I don't end up buying anything, I still love going and just sitting among all those books that are already part of that club. That's my dream, after all, to be published...to have my book sit on a shelf in a bookstore or a library and have people find it interesting enough to read.