Sunday, August 9, 2009

Editing Procrastination

I've begun editing "Nor the Battle." It amazes me how much things have changed since I last looked at the opening chapters, which was actually only about six or seven months ago. Sometimes I read a sentence and wonder how on earth I ever though it made sense.

Yesterday, while procrastinating, I got on Facebook and typed in "writer" for the Pieces of Flair keyword. I then proceeded to write down all my favorite quotes that popped up from that search. Just for giggles, I thought I'd share my list here. Enjoy!

--I write because I'd rather deal with people who don't exist!
--Conform, go crazy, or become a writer.
--My characters write the story. I just try to keep up.
--If I stare at you, it's not because you look good. It's because you just helped me figure out how to off my villain.
--Writer's Block: When friends and family decide you shouldn't be screwing around on the computer.
--I'd love to, but I'm working on my novel.
--Sometimes I have to tell my characters "I'm sorry...this hurts me more than you..."
--Whether you like it or not, you'll be in my novel. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
--Please do not annoy the writer. She may put you in a book and kill you.
--I wish I had writer's block so I could actually sleep.
--"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." ~E.L. Doctorow
--There is nothing more annoying to a writer than a pen without ink.
--Fiction writers think of six wore-case scenarios before breakfast, all involving death, mutilation, or global catastrophe.
--I'm a writer because real life is boring.
--Don't get it right the first time, just get it written.
--"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader." ~Robert Frost
--Shhh...I'm working on my novel.
--I write, therefore I embrace insanity.
--You ever seen an author that's SANE?
--There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
--Sometimes I have to remind myself that the characters I write about don't actually exist.
--Can't sleep. Must write.
--Plot. It builds character.
--I shall write a NOVEL and when it is deemed to be PUBLISHED thou shalt see me go SQUEEEE!
--Warning: Anything you say or do may end up in my next novel.
--I prefer to think of myself as "pre-published."
--Do unto your characters the most deranged things humanly possible.
--If you could see my Google history, you'd think I was nuts...unless you're a writer. Then you'd understand.
--I write to cope with life.
--I'm a writer. What's your superpower?
--You don't scare me. I write fiction.
--If you look at a crawlspace and think "Great place to hide a body" might be a writer.
--The pen is mightier than the sword. Never piss off a writer!
--Paper? Check. Pencil? Check. Idea? Ummm...
--If one wasn't an author, one would be a really boring person filled with peculiar bits of trivia.
--"I write for the same reason I breathe, because if I didn't I would die." ~Isaac Asimov
--Leave me alone. I'm writing. *five hours later* Leave me alone! I'm writing!!! *stabs with pencil*
--Happily, we appear to have acheived coffee.
--The voices in my head won't shut up until I write. The really annoying ones end up dead.
--Writer's Block: When characters get fed up with all you put them through and go on strike.
--Freelance writer--will write for coffee.
--Because I'm the AUTHOR, that's why!
--You're going in my next novel.
--All hail the power of the pen!
--"Remember, writers are the only adults who get to spend all day in their pajamas playing with their imaginary friends." ~Unknown
--Fuck off! I'm writing! Don't fuck with a writer when they're writing!
--I'm writing a book. A clever book. A scary book. A book that will be better than Twilight. And there's nothing you can do to stop me.
--My characters hate it when I kill them.
--Writer. I.e. God of your own universe. Whee!
--Just keep authoring things or you will be eaten by flowers.
--You know you're a writer've thought all the flair quotes before you ever found them.
--Being a writer is great! Don't like someone, eh, kill them off.
--There is no greater agony than bearing an unwritten story in you.
--Of course I live in my head...I'm a writer.

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